High Traffic Cube Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

214 Results for High Traffic Cube

View 121 - 130 results for high traffic cube comic strips. Discover the best "High Traffic Cube" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disgruntled employees, #open door policy, #rush hour, #safely dropped, #traffic, #trap door, #eliminate whiners

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert points to a drawing and says to The Boss, "The trap door will work with your 'open door policy' to eliminate whiners." Catbert continues, "Disgruntled employees will be safely dropped into rush hour traffic." The Boss is lying face down in a snowy street. Cars are passing him by. The Boss thinks, "I need to remember that's there."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #scheduled, #secretary, #moron, #doesn't respect, #stuck in traffic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol and asks, "Carol, where's my ten o'clock?" Carol responds, "He said he'd be late because you're a moron and he doesn't respect you." The Boss' appointment comes in and asks Carol, "Did you tell him I was stuck in traffic?" Carol responds, "It's not always about you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chronic lateness, #repertoire, #classic excuses, #traffic, #loserville, #jinx

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "I've decided to add chronic lateness to my repertoire." Wally continues, "I'll start with the classic excuses: car problems, traffic, and misplaced items. Then I'll branch out." Dilbert says, "You're the mayor of Loserville." Wally replies, "Don't jinx it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new tech lab, #pick contractor, #lowest bid, #force problems, #chance to gnaw wood, #beaver interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I'm putting you in charge of building our new technology lab." The Boss continues, "Pick the contractor with the lowest bid. I don't see any problems with that strategy." Dilbert is meeting with a beaver. Dilbert says, "So, your bid says you'll do the job for... 'A chance to gnaw on wood.'" The beaver responds, "Too high?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #empty cubicles, #frightens customres, #adopt cubicle, #decorate, #appear occupied, #phil de cube, #imaginary employee

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "We have too many empty cubicles. It frightens our customers." The Boss continues, "Each of you will adopt an empty cubicle and decorate it to appear occupied." Wally and Dilbert are walking out. Wally says, "My imaginary employee will be a Frenchman named Phil de Cube." Dilbert responds, "Nice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #battle of wills, #leave message, #call me, #ignores calls, #cubicles, #same office, #one cubicle over

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to The Boss and Dilbert, "I'm in a battle of wills with a guy who lets all of his calls roll over to voicemail." Wally continues, "I do that too, so all day long we trade messages saying, 'Call me,' and then we ignore the incoming calls." The Boss suggests, "Maybe he's out of the office." Wally responds, "No, I can hear him. He's one cube over from me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #roboboss, #good work, #compliments employees, #shallow compliment, #feel good, #high five

View Transcript

Transcript

Roboboss says to Alice, "I am Roboboss. You are a valuable asset. Keep up the good work." Alice replies, "That is the most shallow compliment I have ever heard. But it still made me feel good." Alice continues, "So.. Are you seeing anyone?" Roboboss replies, "High five!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need me, #page me, #soar flares, #low tide, #humidity, #equinoxes, #high tide

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to The Boss, "If you need me, just page me." Wally continues, "I'll cal you right back unless solar flares stop your page from getting through." Wally finishes, "And of course you'll have some blockage during the high tide, low tide, humidity, and most of your equinoxes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interpersonal skills, #propaganda cd, #training cd, #intern, #looking for self imporvement

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says to Catbert, "I would like to improve my interpersonal skills." Catbert responds, "Take this training CD back to your cube and go wild." Asok sits at his computer in fear as the CD says, "Humans are weak. Computers are strong. Come, join our side."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #extra funding, #extra network traffic, #hard data, #infinte capacity, #logic, #opinions, #science works, #weasel misrepresnting, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "I don't think our network can handle the extra network traffic." The Boss replies, "Opinions don't matter to me. I base my decisions on hard data." Dilbert responds, "How about logic? Our network is already too slow and we plan to quadruple usage." The Boss responds, "Bah! Watch how science works and maybe you'll learn something." The Boss pokes his head out of his office and says to Doug, "Doug, come here for a minute." Doug says, "Our data proves that our network has infinite capacity, so your budget should be diverted to my project." Dilbert exclaims, "That's not science! That's a weasel misinterpreting data to get extra funding!" Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "There are days when you really hate to hear the phrase 'po-tay-to, po-tah-to."