Higher Power Comic Strips - Page 13

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235 Results for Higher Power

View 121 - 130 results for higher power comic strips. Discover the best "Higher Power" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #raises, #salary band, #205 higher, #raises capped, #supervisor

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The Boss: "I'd like to promote you, but the lowest salary band for the next level is 20% higher than your current pay." "Raises are capped at 5%, so there's no way to give you the promotion." "So I plan to hire someone from the outside that you can train to be your supervisor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new strategy, #sales stink, #cutting costs, #lose hope, #working great, #higher margins

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The Boss: "Our new strategy is to sell fewer units at higher margins." Dilbert: "Question: How's that different from saying our sales stink, so we're cutting costs?" The Boss: "I call it a strategy so you won't lose hope." Dilbert: "It's working great."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #knowledge is power, #crush you

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Remember: Knowledge is power. "So never tell people anything because they might use it to crush you." "Do you understand?" "I'm not saying."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accidentally sent, #salary spredsheet, #department, #more money, #upset, #wizard, #swollen appendix

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Dilbert: Look… Carol accidentally sent the salary spreadsheet to everyone in the department! Dilbert: WHat??! your pay is higher than mine??! But you're like a…a… WallY: wizard? Dilbert: swollen appendix.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords, #business

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Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #smokers, #harness energy, #unused computers, #create electricity, #outside everyday, #slope

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Dilbert: The smokers in this building take hundreds of trips outside to smoke everyday. We can harness that kinetic energy to create electricity ti power their unused computers. pant pant too much slope

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stolen computer, #boss takes, #employee, #work, #unjust

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The Boss: It's time to go power shopping. The boss: Nice computer. did you just get it. GAAA!!! The Boss: shopping always puts me in a good mood.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #produce breakthrough, #meeting, #coach me, #higher perfromance, #no hope for progress, #business

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Dilbert: My project has no progress and no hope for progress. I scheduled a meeting is I can fantasize that it will produce a breakthrough. I recommend that we have a meeting next week so you can fantasize that your'll coach me to higher levels of performance. The Boss: Sounds good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #used coffee sirrer, #watsebacket, #not maid, #laziness

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Carol: "Hey! You left a used coffee stirrer on the counter!!!" Wally: "The wastebasket was one foot away! I am an associate not your maid!!!" "Behold the power of laziness." Carol: "So, I'll throw it away for you THIS TIME."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #send broadband, #send data, #sewer system

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The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.