Hot Dog Comic Strips - Page 13

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247 Results for Hot Dog

View 121 - 130 results for hot dog comic strips. Discover the best "Hot Dog" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no raises, #appliances, #television, #fridge, #lava lamp, #jar of mayonnaise, #dog, #boss, #dilberet, #animals, #Entertainment

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"This year, instead of raises we're giving appliances." "What?!" "High performers could get a color television or a new 'fridge." "He called it a 'lava lamp'." "I call it a jar of old mayonnaise."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big money, #deal, #dog, #Dogbert, #executive, #mercury dimes, #negotiate, #static network, #stock, #static for sale, #animals

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CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ammunition, #automatic weapons, #bazookas, #citizens, #conversation about guns, #dog, #gun ownership, #no ammunition, #right to own guns, #rocket launchers, #weapons of choice, #charlton heston, #animals

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"What's your position on gun ownership, Dogbert?" "I believe everybody should have the right to own guns." "What about automatic weapons?" "I'm all for them." "Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers, too." "I believe that all citizens should have the weapons of their choice." "However, I also believe that only I should have ammunition." "Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of you Goobers with anything more dangerous than string." "What about Charleton Heston?" "I'd keep the string away from him."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad luck, #lottery tickets, #fabulous wealth, #delight, #hedonistic, #yesterdays date, #old, #expired, #scam, #scammer, #cheater, #rat, #dog, #animals

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"Value priced lottery tickets" Ratbert: "I am drawn by the allure of fabulous wealth and a life of hedonistic delight...one please." "This is dated yesterday." Dogbert: "Ooh, bad luck. Try again?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lottery tickets, #sale, #value, #yesterdays lottery, #half priced lottery, #cheat, #scam, #Dogbert, #salesman, #scammer, #office dog, #customer

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"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #world ends, #year 2000, #creator, #universe, #counting system, #round numbers, #feeling anxiety, #dog, #rat, #conversation, #animals

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Dogbert: "I'm predicting the world will end in the year 2000." "The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers." "So you really want to avoid being, let's say, in mobile home number 1,000,000 in the year 2000." Ratbert: "I'm feeling anxiety."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog collar, #keep track, #employee slaves, #final humiliation, #cubicles, #gerbils, #rationalization, #mechanisms, #collar, #6 foot extension cord, #dog, #adapting, #animals

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The Boss: "Here's your employee locator device." "Sensors in the building will be able to track you at all times." "We'll know how many times you use the restroom and how long." "It's a dog collar...the final humiliation." "Once you got used to working in cubicles like gerbils, we knew anything was possible." "My conformance rationalization mechanisms are kicking in." "It's not so bad. A collar is simply an efficient design. Everyone is doing it." "It's not so bad." "It's powered by this six foot long extension cord."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insensitive, #Dogbert, #dog bashing, #born this way, #no campassion, #feel bad, #who cares?, #insensitive about insensitivity

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"That joke was not funny. You're insensitive, Dogbert." "Well, here we go with the 'insensitive dog bashing'." "Is it my fault I was born without the ability to sense the feelings of others?" "Oh, sure, I wish I could be like you." "Somehow you know exactly what it feels like to a different gender, race, lifestyle or body." "But I'm insensitive. All I know is how I feel!! And I'm proud of it!" "But you'd understand that, if you weren't insensitive about insensitivity!!" "When you put it like that, I feel kinda bad." "Who cares?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #christmas, #Dogbert, #ratbert, #dog, #rat, #tree

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Dilbert sits in front of the Christmas tree in his bathrobe. Dilbert says to Dogbert, who is tearing open his presents, "You really put the family through some major gift-giving guilt this week, Dogbert." Ratbert asks, "Family? Does that include little Ratbert?" Dilbert hands Ratbert a gift and says, "Welcome to the family, Ratbert." Dogbert says, "Don't expect much of an allowance."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #rat, #dog, #christmas

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Dogbert hands Ratbert a list and says, "Here's my list of Christmas demands, Ratbert." Dogbert says, "Since you have no money I included items which can be easily shoplifted." Ratbert says, "Thanks." Dogbert says, "Or you can check the box where it says you agree to be my personal valet for life." Ratbert replies, "I need to shoplift a pencil first."