Long Debate Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

386 Results for Long Debate

View 121 - 130 results for long debate comic strips. Discover the best "Long Debate" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #meetings, #sound of voice, #unspoken rules, #noise, #perfect storm

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I just realized I love the sound of my own voice! Ha ha! Thanks to the unspoken rules of meetings, I can enjoy the sound of myself as long as I want! Blah, blah, blah! Loud Howard: What's all that noise!? Topper: That's nothing! No one knew the perfect storm was approaching

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #leadership, #agenda, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to manage you. It must have been a nightmare for all of you to be without my leadership for so long. Alice: This might be a good tome to lead us to the next topic on the agenda.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #database analyst, #tech writer, #database anaylst, #ignorance with certainty

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, our database analyst quit, so I need you to take over that job. Tina: I'm curious... how long do you think it takes to train a tech writer to be a database analyst? Boss: Forty-five minutes. Tina: I like how you punctuate ignorance with certainty.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad stocks, #disclose holdings, #money, #newsletter, #stock market, #stock picker, #traded stocks, #pumpanddump

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks. It's legal as long as I disclose my holdings and my bad stock picks can be attributed to honest mistakes. Meet my stock picker. Coworker: All shhtocks go up!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telephones, #reprogrammed speed dial, #cellphone, #calls himself, #intelligence test, #hold on, #failed intelligence test, #20 minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #collaboration tools, #human contact, #internet & world wide web, #judegment, #long term goal, #meetings, #suite of tools

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm designing a suite of internet collaboration tools. It's part of my long-term goal to eliminate all forms of direct human contact. Co-worker: That's messed up. Wally: You're exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #benefits of personhood, #chemical nutrients, #death & dying, #inventions, #petri dish, #robot, #scientific equipment, #skin cells, #sneezes, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #elbonian factory, #hysterical blindness, #hats, #long hats, #elbonian, #conveyor belt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We have a safety problem at our Elbonian factory. We're getting reports of hysterical blindness. They don't what's causing it. Elbonian: I can't see!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rebellions, #riots, #violence, #rebel army, #social justice, #iron fisted dictator, #billionaire, #stain, #tank tread, #looting, #excited animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm forming a rebel army. Ratbert: Count me in! What are we fighting for? Dogbert: You'll be fighting for social justice and I'll be scheming to become an iron-fisted dictator. In the long run, I'll be a billionaire and you'll be a stain on a tank tread. Ratbert: Please, please say there will be looting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #office workers, #planning, #assignments, #entre schedule, #next assignment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.