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Boss: We're having an early adopter problem with our wearable tech products. CEO: No one wants to go first? Boss: I wish we had that problem. Dilbert: I wonder if we look as cool as we feel. Wally: Let's hit the clubs and find out.
Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.
Wally: Last week, I did my corporate charity work by teaching unemployed people how to interview for jobs. Boss: Don't they also need job skills? Wally: Nah. I taught them how to look busy. Boss: No boss will be fooled by that. Wally: Do you believe I trained unemployed people last week?
Boss: I'm getting reports that you're being cynical. Dilbert: It's called an accurate worldview. You should try it sometime. Boss: If it's accurate, why are people upset? Dilbert: Said the angry guy to the one who isn't.
Boss: Great leaders set high standards and stay out of the way. So... I want you to build a fusion-powered robot that can run faster than the speed of light! While you're doing that, I'll be staying out of your way. You won't see or hear from me. I won't even respond to email. Dilbert: Is there a budget for this impossible project? Boss: Sheesh! Look who needs to be micromanaged! Now I can't go hide. You've ruined my leadership! Boss: It's hard to be a great leader when all of my followers are so needy.
Boss: Now that we're organized as a holacracy, I need to learn how to look busy like the rest of you. Wally: Try walking into people's cubicles without an invitation and babbling about things they don't care about. Boss: I should write this down.
Alice: I brought you some muffins so I won't need to watch my weight. If I fatten up the people around me, I'll look good even if I gain a few pounds. Dilbert: Won't that make you look mean? Alice: In phase two, I'll also make you angrier than me.
Carol: You take everything wrong. Alice: What's that supposed to mean? Carol: For example, suppose I say you're photogenic. Alice: Are you saying I don't look good when you see me in person? Carol: There it was. Alice: There was what? Carol: It's the think you do to turn everything into a negative. Alice: Oh, so now I'm a monster. Is that what you're saying? Carol: Yes. Alice: Good. That's the vibe I'm going for. Carol: I'm just saying you're totally nailing it. Alice: Watch this! Grrrr!
Tina: You need to work less. Wally: Your productivity is making us look bad. Tina: If you keep being productive, we will hunt you down. Wally: If it's easy. Alice: About the peer review concept... I don't think you thought it through.