Repair Guy Comic Strips - Page 13
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377 Results for Repair Guy
View 121 - 130 results for repair guy comic strips. Discover the best "Repair Guy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday February 05,
2009
Tags #sales, #economy, #ridiculous, #business
Transcript
Dilbert in sales Salesman says, "We had to be more creative because of the soft economy." Salesman says, "now we kill our customers and replace them with body doubles who place big orders." Customer says, "Who's the handsome new sales guy?" Salesman says, "He's you in about ten minutes."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday January 08,
2009
Tags #selfishness, #rudeness, #sales, #internet, #confusion, #sabotage, #business, #technology
Transcript
The lucky sales guy man says, "My sales quotas were set too low. I plan to buy a yacht with my commissions." man says, "Would you mind programming the navigation system so I can get drunk while my boat takes me places?" Asok says, "Why are you researching where all the pirates attack?" Dilbert says, "It's better if you don't know."
Friday September 05,
2008
Tags #cost estimates, #eyebrwo, #ghost, #recognize ghost, #helpful, #how to kill, #garlic and shopvac
Transcript
A man says, "Alice, when will I get your cost estimates?" Alice says, "When will your one eyebrow turn into two?" The man says, "Is that the ghost of the guy who used to have your job? He makes you look bad because he was always helpful." Alice says, "If you're so helpful, tell me how to kill you." The ghost says, "Dang... try garlic and a shop-vac."
Thursday July 31,
2008
Tags #plaintiff, #favor of, #weasel, #unanimous, #wants to leave, #juror, #jury, #jurors box, #legal
Transcript
JUROR: "We find in favor of the plaintiff dude." "There was some discussion about which one is the plaintiff - the complainy guy or the weasel." "But we were unanimous in not wanting to be here any longer." Another man says, "Aye!"
Monday June 09,
2008
Tags #meeting with boss, #vendors, #customers, #please kill me
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, you never mentioned any issues this quarter, so I assume you didn't do any work." A man says, "Ooooh, lordy lord! Our vendors are incompetent and our customers are suing us!!!" The Boss says, "Why can't you be more like that guy?" A man says, "Someone please kill me!"
Sunday June 01,
2008
Tags #behind schedule, #defective equipment, #improbable event, #reliable vendor, #sales guy, #golfing, #bought hat, #impossible boss, #on the hook
Transcript
The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because your project is behind schedule." Dilbert says, "That's because the vendor delivered defective equipment." The Boss says, "It is your job to anticipate that sort of problem and head it off." Dilbert says, "It isn't possible to anticipate and head off every improbable event." The Boss says, "Well, you could have picked a more reliable vendor." Dilbert says, "You told me to use this vendor because the sales guy took you golfing and bought you a hat." The Boss says, "Well, you should have seen that coming and burned down all hat factories a year ago." Dilbert says, "He would have bribed you another way." The Boss says, "That's what lazy people say."
Thursday May 22,
2008
Tags #fixed satellite, #surround sound, #water filter, #dates fix it guys
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I fixed your satellite dish connection and tuned your surround sound system. Now can we go on our date?" A womany says, "That was our date. In ten minutes I'm dating a guy who will replace the water filter in my refrigerator." Dilbert says, "I can do that." A woman says, "You're welcome to stay and fight him for it."
Saturday May 03,
2008
Tags #new guy, #project team, #foul stench, #stink of failure, #follows man
Transcript
Man says, "You must be Dilbert. I'm the new guy on your project team." Dilbert says, "What's that foul stench?" Man says, "It's the stink of failure. It follows me around from project to project." Dilbert says, "How do I get if off?!!" Man says, "You can dilute it by shaking hands."
Tuesday February 19,
2008
Tags #scary guy, #electric cubicle, #scare off .coworkers, #keith richards effigy
Transcript
Dogbert's Electric Cubical Walls Asok: I have a leaner. I want to stun him but not kill him. Dogbert: I recommend our Keith Richards model. Asok: Maybe I should dial it back a little."
Monday February 18,
2008
Tags #new guy, #tall, #giant, #awkward, #arm pits, #cubicle, #intimidating
Transcript
Dilbert: Don't get too friendly with the new guy. His armpits are 66 inches off the ground. Asok: He seems nice. I fail to see how the height of his armpits is relevant. Wally: You'll see. New Guy: Hey, little buddy. Let me tell you about my weekend.