Respect Hard Work Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Respect Hard Work

View 121 - 130 results for respect hard work comic strips. Discover the best "Respect Hard Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ricky Joins The Ai Project

Thank you for voting.
Ricky Joins The Ai Project  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #recommendation, #artificial intelligence, #lowers bar, #human intelligence, #artificial, #honored, #too nice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I recommend Ricky to our artificial intelligence project. He lowers the bar on what constitutes human intelligence, so it will be easier for us to achieve the artificial kind. I would be honored to work on the project, The boss: Okay, I see what you mean.

Robot Can Take Boss's Job

Thank you for voting.
Robot Can Take Boss's Job  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #boss, #work, #ai, #artificial intelligence, #automation

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I wonder whose job I'll take first. Boss: You could never do my job. Robot: I'm doing it right now. Boss: You're not doing anything. Robot: Right. Let that sink in.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiation, #demand, #haggle, #prices, #pricing, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.

Threatening Wally

Thank you for voting.
Threatening Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #excuse, #threat, #ultimatum

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.

Work Until You Drop

Thank you for voting.
Work Until You Drop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #energy, #surveillance, #wearable tech, #dedication, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.

Wally's Watch Is A Snitch

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Watch Is A Snitch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wearable tech, #health, #surveillance, #fitbit, #monitor, #fitness, #attendance

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!

Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #deception, #invisibility, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.

Wally Works On Stealth Clothing

Thank you for voting.
Wally Works On Stealth Clothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invisibility, #attendance, #deception, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."

Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Barry Dingle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #correct, #incorrect, #explanation, #answer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Sorry I'm late. Barry Dingle keeps hanging around my office and asking hard questions. Dilbert: You don't know the answer to any hard questions. Boss: That's why it takes so long. Dilbert: So... you just spout nonsense until he leaves? Boss: That's my go-to strategy for most situations.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #morals, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.