Same People Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for same people comic strips. Discover the best "Same People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Documents On Chairs

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Documents On Chairs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #paper

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Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #insults, #office, #office workers, #people, #sarcasm, #introvert, #coworkers

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Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts

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Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.

Ai Is Stupid For An Hour

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Ai Is Stupid For An Hour - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #robot, #sarcasm, #social media, #stupidity, #technology, #twitter, #humans

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Alice: Your so-called breakthrough in artificial intelligence is a fraud. I talked to it for an hour, and everything it said was stupid. Wait...that's the same as using Twitter. Dilbert: Is it too soon to call me a genius?

Firing Ted

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Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #panic, #suspicious

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Boss: Ted, come to my office at five o'clock. Ted: Gaaa!!! That's what you say when you plan to fire people! Boss: Don't be ridiculous. Also, bring your keys.

Boxes With Names

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Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #suspicious, #layoff

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Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #talking

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Dilbert: Did Alice talk to you about the cost estimates? Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I can't hear you. Ted: Mumble mumble!!! Dilbert: Now you're just mumbling louder. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: Maybe you could turn toward me when you mumble and I can try to read your lips. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I'm getting something about grapes, windshields, asthma, and blockchain. Ted: I didn't say any of those things. Dilbert: Okay. I understood that sentence. Now answer my question the same way. Ted: Mumble mumble.

Keeping The Worthless People

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Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #salary, #incompetence

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Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.

Jargon

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Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confusion, #employees, #irritation, #language, #meetings, #sarcasm

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Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.

Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

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Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart

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Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?