Second Task Comic Strips - Page 13

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160 Results for Second Task

View 121 - 130 results for second task comic strips. Discover the best "Second Task" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recyclable, #trash container, #two containers

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Dilbert says to the janitor, "I notice you have only one trash container with you..." Dilbert holds up two trash cans. He says, "Whereas I have two containers - one for trash and one for recyclable materials." Dilbert says, "One theory is that you make two trips to each cubicle..." THe janitor says, "Could you turn around for a second?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #everyone talks funny, #not morons, #incapable, #clear communication, #think outside box, #watch ego, #before ego dies, #rebel, #do it

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The Boss sits at his desk. Asok the Intern says, "I finally figured out why everyone talks so funny in this company." Asok says, "We're not morons who are incapable of clear communication. We're rebels who like to 'think outside the box.'" The Boss says, "It's always fascinating to watch and ego just before is dies." Asok says, "I'm a rebel! Task me witha 'do it'.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #save money, #copier ink, #add water, #copies light, #compensate, #darken, #implement, #Dilbert, #creative thinker, #implantation task, #bigger raise, #creative way

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Wally tells the Boss, "I have a great idea to save money." Wally enter the Boss's office and continues, "We can make the photocopier ink last longer by adding water to it." The Boss asks, "Wouldn't that make the copies too light?" Wally replies, "Ordinarily, yes. But we can compensate by setting the copier to 'darken.'" Wally says, "You'll need someone to implement this idea . . . Let's see." Wally says, "Hey, how about Dilbert? He isn't doing much work lately." Wally continues, "I'd do it myself but there's no reason to waste a creative thinker on an implementation task." Dilbert asks Wally, "Are you still mad that I got a bigger raise than you did?" Wally replies, "No, I found a creative way to deal with it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project plan requested, #working day and night, #wold chipmunks, #clip art, #never mic sarcasm, #good clip art

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Dilbert enters the Boss's office. He says, "Here's my project plan as you requested." Dilbert explains, "Our team is already working day and night on other projects." Dilbert continues, "I assumed we'd give up eating, sleeping and bathing to fit this in." Dilbert continues, "By the second week we'll be starving, delirious and stinking." Dilbert continues, "We'll be like wild, unpredictable animals." Dilbert continues, "Specifically, we'd be like wild chipmunks. None of us are very aggressive." Dilbert points to the proposal and says, "This clip art represents us in week three as a pile of dead chipmunks." Wally asks Dilbert, "Now he wants it in two weeks?" Dilbert says, "Never mix sarcasm with good clip-art."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #naked and exhausted, #fishing boat, #grabbed line, #held on, #secondd time, #threw back in

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Dilbert sits in his chair wearing a bathrobe and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . There I was, naked and exhausted, miles from shore. Dolphins taunted me for hours." Dilbert continues, "Suddenly a deep sea sport fishing boat happened by. I grabbed the line and held on for my life." Dogbert replies, "Wow! That's lucky." Dilbert says, "That's what I thought . . . Until the second time they threw me back in." Dogbert replies, "I meant lucky for them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #administrative task, #beg for asisiatnace, #network administrator, #new password, #upgrading network, #forgotten password

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Asok says to Dogbert, "I have forgotten my password. I humbly beg for assistance." Dogbert replies angrily, "I have no time for boring administrative tasks, you fool! I'm busy upgrading the network!" Asok says, "You could have give me a new password in the time it took to belittle me." Dogbert replies, "Yes, but which option would give me job satisfaction?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee satisfaction survey, #department dismal, #assigning satisfaction, #task force, #problem solved

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "The results of the employee satisfaction survey are in. Scores for my department are dismal." The Boss continues, "I'm assigning you to the satisfaction task force until the problem is solved." Dilbert and Alice look upset. Dilbert says, "Please . . . Anything but that . . ." The Boss asks, "How satisfied are you NOW?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #same task, #other people, #clever ploy, #create healthy internal competition, #average cauliflower, #brain, #fruit kingdom

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Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I have a bet about why you assigned me to the same task as three other people." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's a clever ploy to create healthy internal competition. Wally thinks you're just dumber than the average cauliflower." The Boss says, "May I point out that cauliflower is the brain of the fruit kingdom." Wally looks at Dilbert and says, "Yes!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #benchmarked, #five world class companies, #comparisons, #irrelevant, #industries, #potato chip, #develop software, #oil chips

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Alice points to a display created by a laptop and overhead projector. She says, "As you requested, I benchmarked our company against five world-class companies." Alice continues, "The comparisons are irrelevant because we're in different industries. But that didn't stop me." The Boss asks, "Why can they make a potato chip in one second but it takes up months to develop software?" Alice answers, "I think they oil the chips."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lacking clerical support, #highly trained, #paid professionals, #copier, #analytical sklills, #mindless, #toner, #five minutes

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Dilbert and Wally are in the copier room. Dilbert stands behind Wally thinking, "Lacking clerical support, the highly trained, highly paid professionals line up at the copier." Dilbert continues thinking, "Their amazing analytical skills are squandered in this mindless task." Wally says, "No . . . It looks like the 'toner' light doesn't turn off if you wait." Dilbert says, "Let's give it another five minutes."