Share Knowledge Comic Strips - Page 13
194 Results for Share Knowledge
View 121 - 130 results for share knowledge comic strips. Discover the best "Share Knowledge" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 18, 2004's comic on:
Share February 21, 2004's comic on:
The boss: I hate Ted. How can I make him quit? Catbert: "That's easy." "Hire an aggressive replacement for Ted who will share his resources and make his job unbearable." Ted: "These are my pants." "Are you still here?"
Share October 08, 2002's comic on:
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I need you to dig a huge rat hole, so companies can throw money in it." Ratbert dances and says, "Yes!!!" Dogbert says, "I might share some of the money with you." Ratbert says, "You had me at 'hole.'" Ratbert and Dogbert are outside. Ratbert is digging a huge hole and says, "When should I stop digging?" Dogbert replies, "When you smell feet."
Share September 05, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Mouse training. The instructor asks the class, "Who wants to share an opinion on why mouse training is important?" Wally raises his hand enthusiastically and says, "Ooh-ooh! Pick me!" The instructor says, "Yes, Wally." Wally responds, "No one?"
Share May 26, 2002's comic on:
An employee says to The Boss, "I quit. I got a better job with our competitor." The Boss responds, "Okay, but remember the employment agreement you signed." The Boss continues, "You agreed to not take away knowledge or skills you acquired at this job." The employee replies, "That's crazy. How can I stop knowing what I learned?" Catbert enters and says, "Come with me." There is a huge contraption with a suction cup. The employee looks up at it and asks, "Will this hurt?" Catbert responds, "I hope so." The machine clamps on the employee's head and makes the sounds, "Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck." Catbert is working the controls. He says, "Ha ha!! I got your technical knowledge! And there go your verbal skills!" The employee has nothing left but a tiny ball for a head. He says, "Great. Now what do I do?" Catbert responds, "I'd stay away from the golf course."
Share October 08, 2001's comic on:
The Boss says to Asok and Dilbert, "Our CEO has voluntarily slashed his pay from six million per year to four." The Boss continues, "In a written statement he said he wants to 'share the pain.' The Boss asks, "Do you feel better now?" Asok replies, "I make my own underwear from sandwich bags."
Share September 19, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "It's easy to create a strategy." Dogbert continues, "Write down everything you do, preceded by the phrase, 'increase our market share by...'" The Boss asks, "What if we change what we do?" Dogbert responds, "Call me and I'll sell you some more valuable advice."
Share September 07, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert are eating breakfast. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Is there more to life than just working?" Dogbert replies, "Yes. There's also the complaining about work. The nightly periods of unconsciousness and sweet, sweet death." Dilbert replies, "Maybe I should have kids." Dogbert responds, "To share the joy?"
Share August 08, 2001's comic on:
The Boss hands Wally an award and says, "The Clean Desk award goes to Wally." As Wally looks at his award, The Boss continues, "Maybe Wally can share some tips on keeping our desks clutter-free." Wally looks up and responds, "I usually throw away this sort of thing in the men's room on the way back to my cubicle."
Share June 03, 2001's comic on:
Tags #save money, #firings, #consultants, #flossie, #highly technical work, #invitation, #shake hands, #greeting ritual, #brain overload, #raise rates, #over reacts, #dumb woman, #lost, #freak, #new hire
The Boss comes into Brian's cubicle and says, "I'm sorry, Brian. I have to fire all my consultants to save money." Brian turns to the Boss and asks, "Who will do your highly technical work?" The Boss brings in a woman and says to Brian, "You can transfer all your knowledge to Flossie." Brian holds out his hand to shake hands and says, "Hi." Flossie grips a pencil in her hand and says, "What's with the hand? Do you want to borrow my pencil?" Brian replies, "Um...no. This is an invitation to shake hands. It's a greeting ritual." Flossie grabs her head and shouts, "OUCH!! Brain overload!! It's too much information!!" Flossie puts both hands on either side of her head and repeats, "Purge! Purge! Purge!" Flossie stares at Brian blankly and says calmly, "Where am I?" Brian thinks to himself, "I need to raise my rates."