Share Knowledge Comic Strips - Page 13
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200 Results for Share Knowledge
View 121 - 130 results for share knowledge comic strips. Discover the best "Share Knowledge" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 15,
2005
Tags #paying for consulting, #no recommendations, #feel secure, #shaping strategies, #hate you, #feel good
Transcript
"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."
Thursday May 05,
2005
Tags #share cubicle, #date you, #incredible time together, #if it didn't work
Transcript
"It's too bad that we share a cubicle. Otherwise I'd date you." "If it didn't work out, we'd have to see each other every day." "...Always reminded of our incredible time together." "Where's the bad?!! Where's the bad?!!"
Monday May 02,
2005
Tags #share cubicle, #outrageous, #fight, #board of directors, #importance of teamwork
Transcript
The Boss: "Dilbert, we're low on space. You'll have to share your cubicle." Dilbert: "This is outrageous! I will fight this all the way to the board of directors!" share cubicle,"Hola. My name is Lola." "But then I remembered the importance of teamwork."
Sunday March 27,
2005
Tags #work load, #complaints, #drowning in work, #priorotize, #fax, #new guy set, #faxing project, #reading comics
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, the new manager hasn't hired an admin. so I said he could share you." Carol: "What?!!" "I'm drowning in work, and you want to double my load???!!!" The boss: "It's no big deal. Just prioritize your work." "And I need you to fax this." Carol: "No can do." "My top priority is getting the new guy all set up." The Boss: "Hmmm... I guess that's fair. I'll send him over." Carol: "I can't order your business cards, I need to do a huge faxing project!" "Hee hee! Marmaduke is sitting on something again!"
Wednesday February 09,
2005
Tags #worthless, #subject matter expert, #narrow field, #vague field
Transcript
Wally: "People think I'm worthless, but in fact I'm a subject-matter expert in a very narrow field." "It's so narrow that it requires no knowledge whatsoever." Dilbert: "What field is it?" Wally: "There's no way to know for sure."
Saturday December 11,
2004
Tags #knowledge is power, #crush you
Transcript
Remember: Knowledge is power. "So never tell people anything because they might use it to crush you." "Do you understand?" "I'm not saying."
Monday October 18,
2004
Tags #fall asleep, #runny nose, #sneaks in, #pinches nostrils shut
Transcript
Ratbert: Why does a runny nose stop running when you fall asleep? Dogbert: The nose fairly sneaks in at night and inches your nostrils shut. Ratbert: This is exactly why I don't like knowledge.
Saturday February 21,
2004
Tags #make ted quit, #aggressive replacement, #share resources, #job unbearable, #pants, #in same pants
Transcript
The boss: I hate Ted. How can I make him quit? Catbert: "That's easy." "Hire an aggressive replacement for Ted who will share his resources and make his job unbearable." Ted: "These are my pants." "Are you still here?"
Tuesday October 08,
2002
Tags #ratbert, #rat hole, #share money, #stop digging, #smell feet
Transcript
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I need you to dig a huge rat hole, so companies can throw money in it." Ratbert dances and says, "Yes!!!" Dogbert says, "I might share some of the money with you." Ratbert says, "You had me at 'hole.'" Ratbert and Dogbert are outside. Ratbert is digging a huge hole and says, "When should I stop digging?" Dogbert replies, "When you smell feet."
Thursday September 05,
2002
Tags #mouse training, #important, #meeting, #question, #silly, #pick me, #answer, #diagram, #computer mouse, #business
Transcript
Headline: Mouse training. The instructor asks the class, "Who wants to share an opinion on why mouse training is important?" Wally raises his hand enthusiastically and says, "Ooh-ooh! Pick me!" The instructor says, "Yes, Wally." Wally responds, "No one?"