Signed To Everyone Comic Strips - Page 13

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300 Results for Signed To Everyone

View 121 - 130 results for signed to everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Signed To Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #economy, #scam, #budget

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Dogbert says, "the Dogbert outsourcing company has a solution for every budget." Dogbert says, "At the deluxe level you get highly educated Indian who speak perfect English." The boss says, "Sounds pricey." The boss says, "Let me see?at my budget level we can get..." The boss says, "...One illiterate Elbonian with poor attendance and an anger management problem." the boss says, "Stupid economy." the boss says, "I'll take him." Dogbert says, "I should warn you that he handles several accounts... and he doesn't know he has a job." Elbonian says, "Why does everyone keep calling me and complaining?! I hate your guts!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2008's comic on:


Tags #agree, #disagree, #idea, #plan, #terrible idea, #worst ever idea, #bordering irresponsible, #disagrees with everyone, #idea is awful, #manipulate me, #terrible tidea, #dance puppet dance

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Dilbert: Do you have a minute to look t my terrible idea? It's the worst idea ever, totally impractical, and bordering on irresponsible. Ted: Why are you saying that about your own idea? Dilbert: Because you're one of those jerks who automatically disagree with everyone. I'm telling you my idea is awful so you will feel compelled to say it is great. Ted: Now that I know how you plan to manipulate me, it won't work. Dilbert: I'm so surprised to hear that you disagree. Now look at my terrible terrible idea.Dance, puppet, dance. Ted: THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #addicted to internet, #doctor, #interesting, #internet, #medicine, #offcie, #pill, #underlying probelm, #medical, #technology

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Dilbert: I'm addicted to the internet because it's more interesting than people. Is there a pill you can give to everyone else to make them more interesting? Doctors never want to treat the underlying problem.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #government buy out, #bloated carcass, #blot out sun, #cookies, #lemonade

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The CEO says, "Our plan is to beg for a government bailout." The CEO says, "It's good for everyone because otherwise our bloated carcass will blot out the sun." The CEO says, "We have cookies and lemonade in the back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #thank ceo, #meeting, #wearing costumes, #unreliable, #moved your cheese, #business

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The Boss says, "I'd like to thank our CEO for coming to our meeting." Dilbert says, "You said everyone would be wearing costumes today." Wally says, "I'm unreliable." Dilbert says, "I kind of hate you now." Wally says, "Geez, who moved your cheese?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dogcart the ceo, #investors, #bought helicopter, #birds off building, #parking lot, #beaks and feathers

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Dogbert the CEO The Boss says, "Our investors are not happy that you bought a helicopter." The Boss says, "Or that you only use it to keep birds off the building." The Boss says, "Or that the parking lot is filling up with beaks and feathers." Dogbert says, "I can't please everyone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #ghost, #popular employee, #better job, #spirit, #kill with kindness, #compariosn, #attacks ghost

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A ghost says, "Hello, Alice. I'm the ghost of the popular employee who once did your function." The ghost says, "My body has gone to a better job, but my spirit remains to remind everyone how mean you are in comparison." The ghost says, "Nice try, but you can only kill me with kindness." Alice says, "Gaaa! Gaaa! Gaaa!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #adopting best practices, #industry, #mediocrity, #mediocre, #practices

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The Boss says, "We will be adopting the best practices in our industry, just like everyone else." Dilbert says, "If everyone is doing it, best practices is the same thing as mediocre." The Boss says, "STOP MAKING MEDIOCRITY SOUND BAD!" Dilbert says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2008's comic on:


Tags #everyone informed, #out of loop, #witnessing birth, #birth of child, #envy, #project, #happy, #miracle

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The Boss: It's too hard to keep everyone informed about everything. I've decided to take you out of the loop. Wally: Really?? Now I know what fathers mean when they talk about witnessing the birth of their children. Dilbert: Lucky!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #favor, #comments, #article, #go away, #wait util tomorrow, #hope, #worthless, #extra work, #worsen results, #ignoring needs

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Tina: "Wally, can I get your comments on my article by tomorrow?" Wally: "Sure." Tina: "You say, 'sure,' but we both know it's a lie." "You just want me to go away." "You plan to wait until tomorrow and make an excuse." "Then you'll hope I'll give up." Wally: "Yes, but remember, my comments are always worthless, they would cause you extra work and worsen the result." "So if I give you nothing. Everyone wins." Tina: "In that case, thank you for ignoring my needs." Wally: "It's the least I could do."