Sounds Bad Comic Strips - Page 13

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916 Results for Sounds Bad

View 121 - 130 results for sounds bad comic strips. Discover the best "Sounds Bad" comics from Dilbert.com.

Arguing With Idiots

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Arguing With Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, secret, tip, arguing, psychology

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Asok: Wally, how do you stay happy while the rest of us are stressed out? Wally: It's easy. Instead of arguing with idiots, I pretend I agree with them so they'll leave me alone. Asok: That sounds risky. Wally: Yes, I agree.

Bad User Interface

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Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags user experience, interface, usability, menu, language

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."

Brains In A River

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Brains In A River - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cryogenics, ethics, laziness, yelp, online review, comments, feedback, customers

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Dogbert: Being the owner of a cryogenic investment firm is a lot of work. So instead of keeping my customers' brains frozen, I decided to toss them in the river and hope no one notices. The best kind of customers are the ones who can't write bad Yelp! reviews.

Terrible Personality

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Terrible Personality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, company culture, personality, engineers, psychology

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Boss: Which one of the engineering candidates should I hire? Dilbert: Both are highly experienced, but one has a terrible personality. Boss: Sounds like a perfect fit. Dilbert: I told him to expect an offer.

Bad Data

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Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags data, information, accuracy

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Boss: What does the data tell us to do? Dilbert: We only have bad data on this. Boss: Does the bad data suggest we should do what we wanted to do anyway? Dilbert: Well, yes. Boss: That's called "good data."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sociopath, obliviousness, tell-all

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Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.

Moth Man Visits Alice

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Moth Man Visits Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, annoyance, mothman, anger, frustration, workload

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Asok: The storytelling mothman you hired is keeping us from doing our work! He's in Alice's cubicle right now. Mothman: Gaaaa!!!! Asok: Sounds like he flew too close to the flame. Boss: Problem solved.

Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality

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Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, competition, bad advice, deception, wedgie

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Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.

Boss The Bottleneck

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Boss The Bottleneck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nickname, name-calling

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Boss: I wish I had a cool nickname at work. Dilbert: You do. You're known as the "Frickin' Bottleneck." Boss: Who calls me that? Dilbert; Bad people. I try to stop them.

Not Morons

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Not Morons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing, tag line, slogan, name-calling, insult, obliviousness, business

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Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.