Take This One Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Take This One

View 121 - 130 results for take this one comic strips. Discover the best "Take This One" comics from Dilbert.com.

Winners Never Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

If You Can Dream

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #Dilbert, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.

Never Stop Dreaming

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Never Stop Dreaming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Dilbert, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i printed out some inspirational slogans to motivate you. the boss: the first one is "never stop dreaming." wally: zzzz-zzzz.

Wally And His Priorities

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And His Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, can you attend a meeting at 10 am tomorrow? wally: sure. here's a list of my projects so you can tell me which one you want to fail while i'm wasting my time at your meeting. the boss: was there a chance one of them would succeed? wally: well played

Counting Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Counting Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.

Your Quote Is High

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Your Quote Is High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #computer software, #office, #sales, #sales personnel, #quote

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: your quote is a bit high. can you do it cheaper? salesman: yes, we offer a low-cost option that involves me talking about the software, but you can't have it. dilbert: what would be the point of that? salesman: you're the one who brought it up.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bugs, #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #quit, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #allergies, #hazmat

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i need a new chair. mine is broken. the boss: you can use my old chair. i just got a new one. alice: the chair you sat in every day for the past twelve years? alice: by now that chair cushion is home to a thriving colony of your cooties. alice: that chair will be off--gassing you for decades. alice: i wouldn't touch that thing unless i were wearing a hazmat suit over my other hazmat suit. alice: i'm breaking into a flop sweat just thinking about it, and i think it's triggering my allergies. the boss: would you like to borrow my hand-kerchief? alice is visually in a daze.

Two Step Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

New Feature Added

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Feature Added - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marketing, #office, #office workers, #time travel

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i need you to add a feature to our product because our marketing campaign says we already have it. dilbert: no problem. what's the feature? the boss: time travel. the boss: how long will it take to add that feature? dilbert: if i'm successful, i'll have it done by last week.