Technical Skills Comic Strips - Page 13

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235 Results for Technical Skills

View 121 - 130 results for technical skills comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Skills" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alpha and omega, #fleer, #flout, #gibe, #indispensable greatness, #jeer, #mock, #no pants, #scoff, #sneer, #technical problem, #pantless prima donna

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"The prima donna" "Behold my indispensable greatness! No technical problem can thwart me!" "I wear no pants, as proof that I am above the rules. I am the alpha and the omega!" "Would you like to see a scoff, jeer, gibe, mock, sneer, fleer or flout?" "Fleer, I guess."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer visit, #zombie, #technical talk, #liberal arts major, #blue

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Customer Visit Dilbert: I can see form your zombie stare that you don't understand technical talk. Dilbert: Let me try iy in a language I call "liberal arts major" Dilbert: Its blue. Customer: It has a color??!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #science of fengshui, #technical merits, #witch doctor, #astrologer, #cutomer

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Visiting a customer "Our office was designed with the science of Feng Shui." "Should I describe the technical merits of our product or will you be consulting with a witch doctor?" "Oops. Sorry. That one snuck up on me." "He's an astrologer, not at witch doctor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #take training, #mismanagement skills, #awed, #send wally

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Dilbert: I desperately need to take this training. The Boss: we can't spare you. Send wally and have him tell you what he learned. Dilbert: Im awed by the sheer artistry of your mismanagement skills. The Boss: Thank you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #make changes, #skills database, #know as guy, #avoid work, #too much work

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Tina: "Wally, can you show me how to make changes to the skills database?" Wally: "I can't risk being known as the guy who knows how to edit the database." Tina: "Because?" Wally: "I barely have time to avoid the work I already have."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #network design, #local trees, #social skills

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Man; "I was an engineer before I got into marketing, so I have a few suggestions for your network design." man: "Get rid of this 'Cisco' doohickey, whatever it is, and put it in a catapult made from local trees." Dilbert: "Has it been awhile?" Man: "At least I have good social skills now, you dipweed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech solution, #simple, #cost fortune, #internal approvals, #vast herds, #management dolts

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Dilbert: "The technical solution is simple and inexpensive." "But it would cost a fortune to get internal approvals because vast herds of management dolts would get involved." "So I should just do it, right?" The Boss: "Did you just call me a vast herd?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new server, #condescending simple version, #full technical explination, #early covislaizations, #no concept of zero

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The Boss: Tell me why you need a new server. and don't give me the condescending simple version for managers. I want a full technical explanation. Dilbert: Early civilizations had no concept of zero. The Boss: Go on.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lose language skill, #using words, #wrong context, #adopt them, #truculent, #doctrinaire, #obelisk, #cervically

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"I'm trying to make him lose his language skills." "I've been using words in the wrong context and waiting for him to adopt them." "Carol, could you truculent this doctrinaire to the obelisk?" "Cervically."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #homemaking skills, #marry a man, #garbageman, #present value cash flow, #comparison, #trained monkeys, #monkey surplus, #bobby upset

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Alice is walking outside, she approaches The Garbageman and asks, "Would it be wrong to marry a man for his homemaking skills?" The Garbageman replies, "Do a present-value cash-flow comparison of marriage versus the equivalent service from trained monkeys." Bobby is sobbing. Alice consoles him, "It's not you.. it's me... and a world wide oversupply of monkeys."