Technology Comic Strips - Page 13

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803 Results for Technology

View 121 - 130 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lover Not A Fighter

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Lover Not A Fighter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, software, price, lover, fighter, report, human resources, bully, sexual discrimination

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dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.

Nothing Is Totally Safe

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Nothing Is Totally Safe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, test, reality, blame, face mask

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boss: have you tested everything to make sure it is 100% safe? dilbert: nothing is 100% safe. we don't live in that kind of reality. but i'll bet you want me to say it anyway. boss: it's more about the blame later.

First Astronaut

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First Astronaut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags astronaut, business, coffee, division, face mask, honor, question, safety, space, technology, test, mars

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carol: our space division asked if you would accept the honor of being their first astronaut to mars. boss: i didn't know they had even tested it for safety yet. carol: he asked too many questions.

Training Kicked In

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Training Kicked In  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bathroom, boring, business, face mask, meeting, sarcasm, technology, training, coffee

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wally: that slide deck in yesterday's meeting was lethally boring. luckily, all of my training kicked in. dilbert: and that training taught you to...? wally: go to the bathroom and never return.

When To Reply To Boss Text

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When To Reply To Boss Text  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, communication, performance, response, review, sarcasm, spreadsheet, technology, text

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wally: how long should i wait before responding to a text message from my boss? dilbert: that depends. are you already overworked? wally: um, sure. dilbert: do you need to teach him a lesson for any unrelated things he did? wally: always. dilbert: do you dislike him in general? wally: yes. dilbert: lastly, how many months until your next performance review? wally: seven. dilbert: okay....putting those inputs into my spreadsheet. you can wait 27 minutes before responding. wally: oh. i was hoping it would be closer to five days. dilbert: when did he text you? wally: i believe it was august.

Lucky Profits

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Lucky Profits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, business, compensation, executive, managers & supervisors, pandemic, sarcasm, technology, video conferencing, zoom, luck

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catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.

Talk To The Experts

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Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answer, bribe, experts, face mask, faster, managers & supervisors, Opinion, plan, technology

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boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

Working From Home

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Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, distractions, estimate, family issues, ipad, video conferencing, yelling, zoom, technology

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dilbert video conferencing: when do you think you can get me that estimate? employee on zoom yelling: get off the couch with your shoes! no! no! no! do not throw the iPad! aaah! i am going to strangle you! dilbert: how do you like working at home? employee still yelling: i'm on a zoom call! i said i'm on a call!!!

Asok Is Overpaid

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Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, technology, time, pay, argue, math, face mask, salary

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asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

Astrology Filter

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Astrology Filter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, Astrology, business, incoherent, sense, strategic, technology

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dilbert looking at laptop: your strategic technology plan was incoherent. i had to run it through an astrology filter to make sense out of it. boss video conferencing: and? dilbert: it says you are "full of taurus" and your plan "is a cancer." boss: sounds right.