Train Support Staff Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

335 Results for Train Support Staff

View 121 - 130 results for train support staff comic strips. Discover the best "Train Support Staff" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

All attempts to train you have failed. "But I don't want to fire you because there's a hiring freeze and I can't backfill." "So I've decided to scale back your responsibilities." "Where do you want these?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"We don't pay enough to attract qualified employees." "No problem. I'll hire unqualified people with good attitudes and train them." "Dilbert, when you get a second, train this guy." "Yay!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is Dogbert's tech support. How may I abuse you?" "I get an error message every time I open an application." "Try giving me all of your personal information and then checking into rehab." "Then I'll have someone steal your identity and move in with your wife." "There's a good chance that the new guy will know how to fix your computer." "When you get out of rehab, talk your wife into taking you back." "Then never touch your computer again because it hurts the ones you love." "How's work?" "Everyone wants to talk to my supervisor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hello, tech support, my computer is frozen." "Try hanging up and slamming your hand in a drawer." "How's work?" "My average call time is down and my job satisfaction is up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support "Yes, we do claim that our software is idiot-proof." "If you boght it, that's proof you're an idiot." "High five!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project plan, #stupidity, #leaping off page, #simple, #won't work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally refuse to support my project plan. Will you take a look at it? "GAAA!!! The stupidity is leaping off the page and burrowing into my brain!!!" "Does anyone around here known how to say a simple 'This won't work'?" gurgle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #important sales call, #secret weapon, #ed from sales, #prices identical, #engineering staff, #competitor, #employs loser, #act surprised

View Transcript

Transcript

"I need you to accompany me on an important sales call." "Me?" "You're my secret weapon." "Well, okay." "What's your name?" "I'm Ed, from sales." "Only two companies make this type of product. The prices are identical." "The difference is that our engineering staff brings genius and innovation to everything it touches." "Whereas my competitor employs this loser." "Really? I wondered why you didn't look familiar." "Sold!" "You helped make a sale?" "Why does everyone act all surprised?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #deception, #laziness, #tech support, #trick, #passowrd, #before lunch, #required

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hello, I need some tech support." "What's your tech support password?" "I don't have one." "Well, then I can't help you." "Since when do you require a password?" "Usually right before lunch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I need help making unrealistic assumptions to support a business case for a bad idea. "Easy." "There's a hole in the back of our wardrobe closet that leads to a magical world of preposterous business assumptions." "We don't have a wardrobe closet." "Assume we do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Welcome to Dogbert's school for zombies and/or certified project managers. "The training is the same for either profession. The main difference is that zombies get more sun." "Repeat after me: I want to calendar an on-site post cutover support review meeting."