Truth Or Lie Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for truth or lie comic strips. Discover the best "Truth Or Lie" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cep, #obscenely wealthy, #guest house, #build house, #speech writer, #workers, #made him rich, #bragging, #condescending, #truth

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Ed stands at the podium and says, "As CEO, I thank you for making me obscenely wealthy." Alice, Wally and Dilbert continue to sit and listen. Ed goes on to say, "Yesterday, I built a guest house using bundles of cash as bricks." Ed looks down at his paper, thinking "I need a new speech writer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 9000, #falsify documents, #comapliance, #liance, #fraud, #cheat, #lie, #steal, #boss

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Wally, the boss, and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says, "In addition to ISO 9000, we will strive to be QS-9000 compliant." The boss continues, "That means falsifying the following documents: QSR, APQP, FMEA, MSA, SPC, PPAP and QSA." "Remember, you can't spell compliance without "liance"..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lawsuit, #against company, #truth, #usual engineering, #no one understands, #whistleblower, #sound the same

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The boss stands behind Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to testify in the lawsuit against our company." The boss says, "Tell the truth, but do it in your usual engineering way so that no one understands you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I've decidedd to be a whistle-blower." The boss says, "Whatever. It'll all sound the same!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information promised, #ignored request, #squadron, #military squirrels, #plausible lie, #giant military squirrels, #secret lair

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Wally and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert says, "There's Ted. He never sent me the information he promised." Wally and Dilbert stop when they come up to Ted. Dilbert asks, "Why have you ignored my request, Ted?" Ted says, "I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels." Wally tells Dilbert, that "He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie." Dilbert screams, "I demand a PLAUSIBLE lie!" Ted responds, "Okay, maybe I WASN'T killed by giant military squirrels." Ted continues, "But I WAS imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth." Wally and Dilbert are walking away. Wally: "You can't prove that one either way." Dilbert: "He did say it was a "secret" lair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nice woman, #venting, #phone number, #sounds nocer, #insulted, #descent story, #Dilbert, #brutal truth

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Dilbert is at a party. A woman says, "And then I said, "How am I supposed to do all that?" then I glared at her." Dilbert says, "Do you have that woman's phone number? She sounds nicer than you." Dilbert walks and thinks, "I don't see why it's MY fault she can't tell a decent story."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #non employee certification, #messenger, #secretary, #receptionist, #carol, #Dilbert, #process raise

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Dilbert sits at his computer. Carol hands him a piece of paper. Carol says, "You need to sign the non-employee certification form before I process your raise." Dilbert looks at the form. Dilbert says, "But this would be a lie. I'm not a non-employee." Carol says, "I'm only the messenger." Dilbert says, "Where did this come from?" Carol says, "The file cabinet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moon, #nasa hides women, #love male engineers, #drinking contest, #loser, #never return, #entering contest

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Caption: Somewhere on the moon. The engineers and Dilbert are in a standoff. Engineer 1 says, "So, you discovered where NASA hides the women who love male engineers." Engineer 1 says, "How about a little drinking contest, tough guy? The loser can nver return." The three engineer loving women lie slumped on the surface of the moon surrounded by empty alcohol bottles. Woman 1 says "We probably shouldn't have insisted on entering the contest." Woman 2 says, "I'll miss them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goal to motivate, #build global satellite netwrok, #feel sdifferent, #Right, #energetic feeling, #pinned, #burning couch, #dizzy, #budget cuts

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "This is the goal that will motivate you for the next year." Dilbert reads from the piece of paper: "'Build a global satellite network. Budget: $12,000.'" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "Motivation feels much different from what I imagined." Dilbert continues, "I was expecting a light, energetic feeling." Dilbert continues speaking and illustrates with his hands, "But it's more like being pinned under a burning couch." Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Whoo, I'm getting dizzy." Dilbert stands up slowly and says, "I'd better lie down until the motivation wears off." The Boss leaves the room with Dilbert lying on the table. The Boss says, "He's going to be trouble during the next round of budget cuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #research dept, #study, #value of research, #just lie, #no research, #industry salaries, #two oclock, #quitting time, #role model

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Alice sits next to The Boss and a mandattan place.. The Boss points out, "Our special guest is Tod, from our researced paper." Tod says, "We recently did a study to access the value of our previous research." Tod hands out papers and says, "Sadly, all of our past work was either ignoed or totally misintrepreted by idiots.." Tod says, ".. such as yoursleves." Tod says, "So from now on, rather that do research we''ll just lie. Tod says, "Play along and and we'll make sure the 'industry salaries' study goes your way." Tod says, "Well, it's two o'clock, and that's quitting time in the research department." Wally tells Dilbert, "" You're not my role mdoel anymore!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #imgination, #sexier, #everyday, #super model, #kryptonite

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Dogbert is sitting on the couch. On an endtable is a lamp and a magazine. Dogbert says, "Is it my imagination or am I getting sexier every day?" Dogbert pulls out a hand mirror and says, "The mirror doesn't lie. I AM getting sexier." At the kitchen table, Dogbert informs Dilbert, "I've decided to become a supermodel." Dilbert pours himself a bowl of cereal and says, "Okay, but stay away from kryptonite."