Understand Enginering Comic Strips - Page 13
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240 Results for Understand Enginering
View 121 - 130 results for understand enginering comic strips. Discover the best "Understand Enginering" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 21,
2004
Tags #tech analyiss, #second opinion, #look stupid, #whistling, #accident, #distribute
Transcript
Dilbert: Heres the technical analysis that you ask for, I don't understand any of it. I can't tell if its right or if it would envbrass me. I can't ask for a second opinion with out looking stupid, and I can't distribute it because it might be wrong, I'll out it on this pile and hope something changes. I wonder of its called whistling when only amor comes out, Carol: Should I shred your pile of indecision, The Boss: make it link like an accident.
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Thursday October 28,
2004
Tags #explain the issue, #never comprehend, #conflicts, #never understand
Transcript
"I know I keep asking you this but could you explain the issue again?" "Well, something that you could never comprehend conflicts with something that you'd never understand." "Oh."
Wednesday October 27,
2004
Tags #issue, #misleading, #explination, #understand, #planning on listening
Transcript
The Boss: Tell me again what the issue is. Dilbert: do you want the simple but misleading explanation or the one you won't understand. The Boss: either one is good; I wasn't planning on listening,
Saturday October 02,
2004
Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health
Transcript
CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info
Tuesday May 25,
2004
Tags #customer visit, #zombie, #technical talk, #liberal arts major, #blue
Transcript
Customer Visit Dilbert: I can see form your zombie stare that you don't understand technical talk. Dilbert: Let me try iy in a language I call "liberal arts major" Dilbert: Its blue. Customer: It has a color??!
Sunday March 07,
2004
Tags #boss's office, #employee, #exciting challenges, #fertilized plant, #hard work done, #tree grows
Transcript
Asok: "I worked nights and weekends to finish my project ahead of schedule." The Boss: "Good. Here's more work." Asok: "I don't understand. Am I being punished for working hard?" The Boss: "No, you're being rewarded with exciting new challenges." Asok: "Why does the plant grow faster when you say things like that?" The Boss: "No reason." "Stop that!" "Anyway, your annual performance review will award your hard work." Wally: That is one fertilized plant
Sunday September 28,
2003
Tags #employee moral survey, #open, #honest, #communication from management, #death spiral, #looting comaony, #noise, #fishing lures, #e, #ploys suffer, #boss likes hurting, #sick boss, #negative force
Transcript
"I have the results of the employee morale survey." "The number one issue is 'not enough open and honest communication from management.'" "Well, okay. I'm willing to give that a try." "Management is looting the company while hiding the fact that we're in a death spiral." "Whenever you talk, I think about fishing lures until the noise stops." "When I see an employee suffer, it excites me in ways I don't understand." "On nine separate occasions I've fired bald guys because I thought they were you." "If this doesn't work for you. Let me know on next employee morale survey."
Wednesday September 10,
2003
Tags #project manager, #direct natural talent, #energy, #common goal, #agenda, #copies of agenda, #health
Transcript
wally: "I've never been a project manager before." "I understand I'm supposed to direct your natural talents and energies toward a common goal." Wally: "Carol, did you make copies of the agenda?" Carol: "No, it sounded hard."
Wednesday August 06,
2003
Tags #description, #projected course, #impossible, #uncertainty principle, #understand project, #know cost
Transcript
"I need a description of your project and its projected cost." "That's impossible." "The project uncertainty principle says that if you understand a project, you won't know its cost, and vice versa." "You just made that up." "That doesn't make it wrong."
Thursday July 31,
2003
Tags #criticize things, #dont understnd, #kyoto treaty, #flat tax, #unfair, #stem cells
Transcript
Dogbert: I've decided to spend more time criticizing things I don't understand. I say we should flat-tax the kyoto treaty all the way back to the security council, Dilbert: wouldn't that be unfair to stem cells? Dogbert: Bah!