Wally Clipping Nails Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for wally clipping nails comic strips. Discover the best "Wally Clipping Nails" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Analogy Guy Fits In

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Bad Analogy Guy Fits In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #insults, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.

Wally Gives Back The Baby

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Wally Gives Back The Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #misunderstanding, #obliviousness, #Parenting, #adoption

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Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

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Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babies, #excuses, #misunderstanding, #office workers, #Parenting, #work, #adoption, #negligence

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Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Wally Adopts An Elbonian Baby

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Wally Adopts An Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #office workers, #trick, #work, #adoption, #morality

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Wally: I've decided to adopt a kid from Elbonia so I'll have better excuses for missing work. Dilbert: Your plan is immoral, uncaring, and socially irresponsible. Wally: And brilliant. Dilbert: No one is saying it won't work.

Circular Debating

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Circular Debating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy

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Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!

Toxic Employee Covers All Bases

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Toxic Employee Covers All Bases - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office workers, #work

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dibert: hey, aren't you the new toxic employee? toxic employee: i told your boss you think he's a jerk for giving wally an award for work you did. dilbert: i never said that. toxic employee: i covered that base by telling him you're a liar.

Layoff Package

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Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Wally Uses Speakerphonetif

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Wally Uses Speakerphonetif - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #office, #office workers, #speaker phone, #voice-texting, #click

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the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.

Measuring Excellence

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Measuring Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #excellence

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: we opened our first "center of excellence" today. the boss: at the risk of sounding too optimistic, we should be brimming with excellence by nightfall. dilbert: how will we know if is working? the boss: it's better if we don't try too hard to measure it.

When Wally Is Busy

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When Wally Is Busy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #busy, #witnesses

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tina: are you busy? wally: yes. tina: when should i check back? wally: when i'm not busy. tina: when are you not busy? wally: whenever there are no witnesses.