Wide Eyes Comic Strips - Page 13
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247 Results for Wide Eyes
View 121 - 130 results for wide eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Wide Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 24,
2002
Tags huge scam, upcoming merger, accretive earnings, stcockholders
Transcript
Asok says to The Boss and Alice, "I worry that our upcoming merger is nothing but a huge scam on our stockholders." The Boss opens his mouth very wide and yells, "Buwaha-hahaha!!" The Boss says, "I mean.. It's accretive to earnings."
Thursday September 26,
2002
Tags 3 projects, cucbicle, double wide, elevator, scarbble, night, counterfeit vowles
Transcript
Dilbert and his mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. She says, "Norma's son finished three projects last year. You only did one." Dilbert's mom continues, "His cubicle is a double-wide. And his CEO once said hi to him in the elevator." Dilbert's mom concludes, "Thanks to you, my 'scrabble' night is a living hell." Dilbert asks, "Do you still use counterfeit vowels?"
Friday September 20,
2002
Tags woman, peeved questions, hostile, personality disorder, critical, mean, nasty
Transcript
The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet a woman who acts peeved at any sort of question." Dilbert extends his hand and asks, "How are you?" The woman opens one eye very widely, "Poink." The woman exclaims, with one eye wide open and the other closed, "How am I???" Dilbert responds, "Wow. I gotta show this to Wally."
Tuesday September 03,
2002
Tags hate everyone, entire world, weasels, wide eyed, innocent child, unconditionally, tiny wesels
Transcript
Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Today I realized I hate everyone in the entire world." Dilbert continues, "I used to think I might like some people I hadn't met. But now I think they're weasels too." Dogbert asks, "How about a wide-eyed and innocent child who loves you unconditionally?" Dilbert responds, "Tiny weasels."
Wednesday August 07,
2002
Tags employees, not allowed to eat, work cubicles, gulp, chomp chomp, ignores rules, business
Transcript
Catbert enters Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, employees are not allowed to eat in cubicles." Alice stuffs the food in her mouth, "Chomp chomp chomp" Catbert exclaims, "I'm going to see that every time I close my eyes!" Alice responds, "You started it."
Tuesday July 16,
2002
Tags chapter 11, profits are fake, sold all stock, diversifying investments, bankruptcy, files for bankruptcy
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice and Dilbert, "Ha ha! We're filing for chapter 11 because all of our so-called profits are fake." The Boss continues, "I'm laughing because I sold all of my stock the same day I heard that our CFO did." Alice shuts her eyes and clenches her teeth in anger. Alice stands up and yells, " You said he was just diversifying his investments!" The Boss responds, " It sounds funny now."
Saturday May 11,
2002
Tags fix interface, million dollars, close eyes, wish hard, saving
Transcript
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "We can fix our incomprehensible user interface for a million dollars." Dilbert continues, "Or we can close our eyes and wish real hard that our users won't care." The Boss closes his eyes and wishes real hard. Wally turns to Alice and says, "He's saving a million dollars. What did you do today?"
Friday November 02,
2001
Tags asok in hr, harassment compliants, alice, caboose, psychic powers
Transcript
Headline: Asok Works in H.R. Catbert says to Asok, "Asok I want you to handle all the harassment complaints." Asok records Wally's complaints. Wally says, "And as I left the room I could feel Alice's eyes checking out my caboose." Asok says, "So... you have psychic powers?" Wally responds, "My eyes are up here, pal."
Sunday August 19,
2001
Tags ratbert, can't sleep, tell story, pointy haired monster, cry, dilbert bedtime story, tells life story, rat crys
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting on his couch in his bathrobe. His pet rat approaches on the arm rest and says, "I can't sleep. Would you tell me a story." The rat is cuddled under a blanket on the couch. Dilbert begins his story: "Once upon a time there was a pointy-haired monster." He continues, "He promised riches to the villagers if they could achieve his random objectives." The rat begins to get drowsy. Dilbert continues his story: "The villagers worked long hours but they were happy and optimistic." Dilbert continues, "Suddenly the evil monster cut their funding and hired the village idiot to be project manager." Dilbert continues, "And that is how the villagers got trapped in meetings for all eternity. The end." The rat opens its eyes wide in horror. The rat cries, "Waaa!! Waaa!! Waaa!!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Rats cry when they hear about my life." Dogbert responds, "It never pays to listen."
Wednesday August 01,
2001
Tags secretary, carol, order new chair, new chair smell, chair desert roll, not important enough, smelly chair, mean nasty, self centered, delusional boss
Transcript
The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, order a new chair for me. The old one lost its new chair smell." Carol responds, "Can I have your old chair? My chair doesn't roll anymore." The Boss replies tentatively, "'I'll try to say this tactfully. You're not important enough to sit in my smelly chair." Carol's eyes bug in offense.

