Window Control Comic Strips - Page 13

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254 Results for Window Control

View 121 - 130 results for window control comic strips. Discover the best "Window Control" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #stretch first, #sprained arm, #tv remote control, #Wally, #doctor, #medical

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Wally has his arm in a sling and his head in a cone. He says to Dilbert, "I sprained my arm using the TV remote control." Wally continues, "I tried to change the channel and the volume at the same time." Wally continues, "That's why you should always stretch first." Dilbert turns and asks, "Wally, who's your doctor?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #african vacation, #natures wonders, #shoot, #window of suv, #monkey brains, #flared nostrils

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'll be taking my vacation in Africa so I can enjoy nature's wonders." The Boss continues, "And shoot as much of it as possible from the window of an SUV." The Boss asks Wally, "Have you ever seen monkey brains?" Wally responds, "Once, when you flared your nostrils."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2002's comic on:


Tags #superior perfromance, #not effective, #budget increase approved, #retroactive, #be happy, #some no raises, #10% raise, #future raise

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, your performance this year was superior. I'm giving you a 10 % raise." The Boss continues, "But it's not effective right away." "It kicks in as soon as soon as my budget increase gets approved." Carol asks, "When will that be?" The Boss responds, "As soon as the economy improves and profits go up!" Carol asks, "But my raise will be retroactive to today, right?" The Boss replies, "No." The Boss continues, "You should be happy. Some people aren't getting any raises at all." Carol holds one arm down with the other and thinks, "Must.. control fist... of death." Carol bumps into Wally in the hallway. Wally says, "I just got a 14% future raise just for showing up." Carol holds her arm down again and exclaims, "Gaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #use vacation time, #finish project, #find solution, #come to work on vacation, #network remotely

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, you need to use your vacation time before the end of the year." Alice responds, "I don't have time. I need to finish my project." The Boss responds, "I'm sure that a highly trained engineer like you can find a solution." Alice responds, "Well.. I could say I'm on vacation and come to work as usual." The Boss responds, "No. I can't count it as vacation unless you're not in the building." Alice responds, "Okay.. I could take home my computer and work there." The Boss says, "No... You're not allowed to access our network remotely." Alice stands outside and leans through a window to use her computer. She thinks, "#!&#% worst vacation ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #six sigma consulatant, #identify probelms, #control fist, #give me a belt, #second step

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Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to the meeting, "The first step is to identify your problems." The Boss responds, "We don't have any problems. What's the second step?" Alice pins one hand down with the other and clenches her teeth. She thinks to herself, "Must..control...fist." The Boss says, "I hope someone gives me a belt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #save money, #each unit, #idea, #vp, #beter ideas, #fist of death, #something hits me, #alice punches

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Carol sits in her cubicle saying to the Boss, "...and that way we'll save money on each unit we build." The Boss replies, "Let's try that idea with our VP." Alice and the Boss sit in front of the VP. The VP says, "Wow. Great idea. Who thought of it?" Alice and the Boss both sit looking pleased. The Boss says, "Well, I have to admit..." The Boss continues, "It's one of my better ideas." Alice sits totally shocked. Alice stands furious and shaking, thinking, "Must...control...fist of death." The Boss continues, "Sometimes I'll just be standing there..." Alice thinks, "GAAA!" as the Boss continues, "And POW! Something hits me." Alice and the VP stand on either side of the Boss' legs up in the air. Alice says, "Thank you." The VP holds out her shaking hand and says, "I tried to control it but I couldn't."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #roof gets shingled, #chaos driven, #climate ocntrol, #rest randomizer, #rain shingles, #roof

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Dilbert stands outside looking at his roof and says to the garbageman, "I hope it doesn't rain until my roof gets shingled." The garbageman asks, "Why don't you use your personal chaos-driven climate control appartus to control the rain?" Dilbert looks at him and says, "I...uh...don't have one." The garbageman holds out a gadget and says, "Here, you can use mine. Just reset the randomizer when you're done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #work indoors, #rain, #can't control weather, #roof guy

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Dilbert sits in a chair reading the paper. A worker approaches him and says, "I got the roof off. I'll be back next week to finish." Dilbert follows him to the door and says, "What if it rains?" The worker replies, "Then I'll work indoors." Dilbert follows him to his truck. He says, "But my house will be ruined." The worker says, "I can't control the weather."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #the boyfriend project, #progress, #seen in public, #slimmed down, #toned up, #changed clothes, #no combover, #nobel prize, #wrestiling, #party, #cocktail party, #feeding words, #socializing, #mistakes, #speech, #control

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Caption reads: "The Boyfriend Project." Alice holds up a "Before" picture of her boyfriend in front of him. He is now strong, lean, and completely, bald. She says, "You're making good progress." Alice's boyfriend continues to flex his muscles as she says, "I'm ready to be seen with you in public. But don't do any talking." Alice and her boyfriend are seen talking to another couple at a party. Her boyfriend says, "...And that's why I think there should be a Nobel Prize for wrestling." Alice leans over and whispers in his ear, "I said..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #die from shame, #loss, #throw it, #window repair business, #honest vendor

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THE HONEST VENDOR: Dilbert looks at a new product. The vendor says, "Five minutes after you buy it you'll want to throw it through a window." The vendor says to Dilbert, "We sell these at a loss but we make it up with our window repair business." The plug falls off the product. Dilbert says, "It fell off." The vendor says, "Sometimes the components actually die from shame."