Alice Sits Boss Comic Strips - Page 13
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1000 Results for Alice Sits Boss
View 121 - 130 results for alice sits boss comic strips. Discover the best "Alice Sits Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 07,
2004
Tags send threatening emails, train new guy, easily downsize later, boss threatens alice, job security, male, female, training, alices bad advice
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."
Sunday July 04,
1999
Tags finish project, on time, geta better boss, better project, weeks of confsuion, no work, less work, morale up
Transcript
The Boss sits at the conference table and says, "If you don't finish the project on time, I'll probably lose my job." Asok the Intern asks, "What would happen to us?" Dilbert answers, "We would get a better boss." Wally continues, "We might get a better project too!" Alice goes on, "There would be weeks of confusion with no work at all!" Everyone shouts, "YAY!!" Alice holds her hands close to her chest and says, "It's all ours if we simply do less work!" Alice says, "Whoo! I've never felt my morale go up before. I'm dizzy." The Boss looks at his paper and curses, "#$%^$#!"
Sunday August 29,
1999
Tags last bullet point, bullet point, admit wrong, alice heard wrong, boss has to admit wrong
Transcript
Alice has just presented a document to the Boss. As the Boss reads it, he tells her, "Remove that last bullet point. It's stupid." Alice gasps. Alice crosses her arms and says, "Yesterday, you told me to add that bullet point." She continues, "So either you were wrong today or you were wrong yesterday." The Boss ponders this. Alice pokes her head out of the Boss' office to tell the other workers, "Everyone come quickly! He has to admit he's wrong!" Dilbert and Asok sprint down the hall. Wally's head pops up from behind his cubicle wall, elated. Once the other employees are gathered around her, Alice cues the Boss, "Say it." The Boss responds, "Alice heard me wrong yesterday." Alice is furious as everyone continues to stand around her. Wally says, "It takes a big man to admit Alice is wrong." Asok, cupping his hands to his mouth, yells, "Can you hear us Alice?"
Sunday July 31,
2005
Tags alice, boss, car call, diustarcted, made distracted, driving, crashed
Transcript
Rrring! Alice : Now what? This is alice. Jo its your boss. alice: GAAA! its a car call. he's using me toenetratin himself while he's sitting in traffic Boss: How everything? Alice: I'll lose and hour of my life if I don't get him off the phone, Boss: Nice weather today. Alice: Do me a favor and look in your brief case to see if my latest report is there. The boss: Okay. The boss: and turn down your radio so Ic an hear you...and check your calendar on you pda GAA!!! CRASH! IM going to hell.
Sunday October 20,
2002
Tags unwritten rule, talked to boss's boss, rule against, interesting, wonder why, transmitting, rules of esp, outgoing signals, silent, not supposed to, unwritten, boss, alice
Transcript
Alice asks, "I did what?" The Boss responds, "You talked to my boss without my permission." Alice says, "I don't remember reading a rule against that." The Boss replies, "That's because it's an unwritten rule." Alice says, "Unwritten you say? Hmm.. isn't that interesting? I wonder why it's unwritten." Alice continues, "I would think you'd be proud to write down an excellent rule such as that." Alice continues, "But if you prefer to keep transmitting rules by ESP, your skull seems to be blocking the out-going signals." Alice continues, "If you're sending a new rule now, turn your head so it can come out your ear hole."
Saturday December 26,
2015
Boss Asks Alice To Mentor At School
Tags gender, misogyny, Women, feminist, mentor, tutor, assumption, feminism
Transcript
Boss: My kid's school is looking for someone to mentor girls interested in stem careers. Alice: Are you asking me to do that because I'm a woman? Would you ask a man to do that? Boss: This went bad fast. Alice: Tell Wally to do it. He's not busy.
Tuesday May 24,
2016
Boss Can't Be Your Friend
Tags boss, double standard, employee, hierarchy, lunch, rank, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.
Thursday October 13,
2016
Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife
Thursday January 12,
2017
Coaching Alice
Thursday October 25,
2018
Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots
Tags the boss, alice, ted talk, idiots, dumb, career, change, smart, possible, speak
Transcript
The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...