Alleged Focus Group Comic Strips - Page 13
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209 Results for Alleged Focus Group
View 121 - 130 results for alleged focus group comic strips. Discover the best "Alleged Focus Group" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 12,
1999
Tags #lawyer, #court, #Dilbert, #whistle blower, #emplyer, #aaplets, #cookie data, #competing protals, #jury selction, #hungry, #legal
Transcript
Lawyer: Okay whistle blower, explain to the jury the alleged crimes pf your employer. ...Then our applets were designed to corrupt cookie data from all competing portals. Dilbert: Nice jury selection, Lawyer: So far you've made them hungry.
Friday October 15,
1999
Tags #compensation, #manage, #career as director, #conpsiracy, #incompetent emplyees
Transcript
Catbert stands on The Bosses desk and says, "Your compensation is related to the number of people you manage." Catbert says, "Likewise, my career as director of human resources depends on the quantity of employees." Alice and Dilbert look at a group of dumb people. Alice says, "It's as if there were a conspiracy to hire hordes of incompetent employees."
Saturday November 20,
1999
Tags #hacker, #broke into system, #corporate startegy, #post it, #internet, #email address, #technology
Transcript
The boss, Dilbert, Alice and Wally are in a meeting. The boss is looking at a piece of paper and says to the group, "A hacker broke into our system and found out our corporate strategy." Dilbert asks, "Did he post it on the internet? I'd like to read it." Dilbert continues, "I'm also curious about my objectives for the year. Do you have the guy's e-mail address?"
Thursday November 25,
1999
Tags #the turnaround ceo, #work of 10 people, #strategic planning, #traitorous mole
Transcript
The Turnaround CEO Dilbert is standing in front of the CEO's desk saying, "If you let me keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategic planning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."
Saturday January 01,
2000
Tags #bait and switch, #assisting eddie, #never see again
Transcript
The boss, Wally, Dilbert and a new consultant are in a meeting. The boss says: "I hired the "Bait and Switch" consulting group because they're so smart." The consultant says to the boss while introducing him to a very messy looking man: "I'm assigning Eddie to work on your account. You will never see me again." Eddie sits in front of the boss and says: "So, what is it that you do here?"
Monday February 07,
2000
Tags #website, #business case, #web productivity commitee, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert tells the Boss who is sitting behind his desk: "I need to see a web site that's blocked by our I.S. Group." The Boss replies: "Submit a business case to the Web Productivity and Security Committee." A snail approaches Dilbert while he is typing at his terminal and says to him: "Hey, bro, where's your shell? This ain't casual day."
Friday March 17,
2000
Tags #discover shared vision, #foster enrollment, #compliance, #modify conceptual map, #organizational complexity
Transcript
Wally asks the Boss: "Should I be trying to discover a shared vision that will foster enrollment rather than compliance?" He continues: "Or should I modify my conceptual map to focus on organizational complexity?" The Boss asks: "Is any of that the same as work?" Wally replies: "It pays the same."
Saturday May 13,
2000
Tags #dogcart consults, #e commerce sight, #well documented, #flying pigs, #coolest part
Transcript
Dogbert consults the Boss. Dogbert says, "My team can build an e-commerce site for you." Dogbert continues, "It will be so well-documented that your I.S. group can easily maintain it." The Boss gathers his employees as he explains, "But the coolest part is that the documentation will be delivered by flying pigs."
Tuesday July 18,
2000
Tags #staff cuts, #target t shirt, #special target
Transcript
The Boss says to his staff during a meeting, "This special T-shirt is awarded to Ted for all of his achievements." The Boss continues, "Next on the agenda..." Ted attempts to put on the T-shirt which has a bullseye on the front. The Boss says to the group, "We're planning some staff cuts."
Wednesday October 04,
2000
Tags #customer type, #feeble minded people, #reorganize, #second guess, #dogbert consults
Transcript
Dogbert is sitting at a conference table beside the boss, across from Dilbert and Wally. Dogbert says, "You need to reorganize by customer type." Gesturing toward the boss, Dogbert continues, "One division would focus on selling to feeble-minded people." The boss says, "Are you gesturing at me because I would work in that division?" Dogbert says, "What's your second guess?"