Ask Comic Strips - Page 13
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413 Results for Ask
View 121 - 130 results for ask comic strips. Discover the best "Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 11,
1998
Tags bred, work in cubicle, personal life, stealing, good square meal, square head
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, this is Rex Tangle, our newest employee." Rex is completely square, with flat sides to his head and torso. The Boss says, "Rex was specially bred to work in a cubicle." Wally says, "Looks like he'll fit right in." The Boss says, "Ask him about his personal life." Wally says, "Rex, how's your personal life?" Rex says, "I don't have one. That would be like stealing from the company." A little heart showing love floats above The Boss's head. Wally and Rex walk off. Wally asks, "So, do you eat lunch?" Rex says, "I would enjoy a good square meal." Dilbert and alice are sitting in the company cafeteria eating their lunches. Wally says, "Meet the future." Rex says, "Hello, you round pegs!"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday May 24,
1998
Tags new customer, top 5 compnaies, low price, high margins
Transcript
An employee comes into the Boss' office with a man and says, "I'd like you to meet our newest customer." The Boss says, "You won't be sorry; we're one of the top five companies in this field." The customer turns to the employee and says, "I thought you said no one else makes this kind of product." The Boss interjects, "No one else makes one with so few features." The employee grimaces as the customer asks, "So...your strategy is low price, right?" The Boss replies, "No, high margins!" The customer grabs the employee by the collar and begins to choke him, screaming, "YOU!!" The employee's feet are propped up on the Boss' desk as the Boss thinks to himself, "I'd better ask someone what a 'margin' is."
Friday January 08,
1999
Tags meeting, technical questions, ventriloquism, ip router, suppository configuration, boss move lips, business
Transcript
The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, I need you to attend a metting with me to handle the technical questions." The boss says, "If the ask me a question, I'll move my lips while you do ventriloquism." The boss is in a meeting. He pretends to speak. Alice says, from behinds a book, "....and that's why your I.P. router in a suppository configuration."
Tuesday January 26,
1999
Tags carol on phone, yell kids, key to cabinet, supply cabinet, cheetah, panda, jungle, office
Transcript
Dilbert peers over his cubicle wall. Dilbert thinks, "As usual, Carol is on the phone yelling at her kids." Wally also peers over his partition. Dilbert thinks, "I wait, like a cheetah, for a chance to ask her for the key to the supply cabinet." Dilbert says, to Wally, "Are you waiting like a cheetah?" Wally says, "I'm more of a panda."
Thursday February 11,
1999
Tags dogberts tech support, many questions, phone, understand technology, bounce around
Transcript
Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert sits at a computer and speaks on the phone. Dogbert says, "First I need to ask you many questions." Dogbert says, "Then I will transfer you to someone who will ask you the same questions again." Dogbert says, "We do this to remove any hope you might have had that we understand technology."
Wednesday April 07,
1999
Tags budget cycle, helipcopter, double rotor, respect, budget process, budget padding, albino tiger cubs
Transcript
Caption "The budget cycle" Wally and Asok sit at a conference table. Wally reads of a piece of paper and says, "And i'll need a helicopter, double rotor." Asok says, "If you have any resoect for me or the budget process, you will not ask for such obvious budget padding." Wally says, "And I'll need that chopper filled with Albino tiger cubs."
Tuesday November 09,
1999
Tags can't control, based on perfromance, not a team player
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally are sitting at a table with notes and coffee in front of them and sitting opposite them is the boss. Wally says, "...And since our bonuses depend on things we can't control..." Wally continues, "...Can mine be based on the performance of some other company?" Dilbert and Wally are walking off and Wally says to Dilbert, "You ask one question and sussenly you're not a team player."
Saturday April 15,
2000
Tags evil hr director, offered stock incentives, working hard enogh, beating customers
Transcript
Catbert, now acting as the Evil H.R. director, aks Dilbert "Would you work harder if we offerec stock incentives." Dilbert responds, "Yes." Catbert asks, "So you admit you're not working hard enough now?" Dilbert replies unsure "Umm..." Catbert goes on to ask Dilbert, "Lastly, are you still beating up customers?"
Wednesday April 19,
2000
Tags life misrable, thwart move, new sadist, old one, sadist paradise, auditing department
Transcript
A man enters Dilbert's cubicle shouting, "I'll make your life miserable! I'll thwart your every move!" The man introduces himself to Dilbert, "Hi. I'm the new sadist." Dilbert replies, "What happened to the old one?" The sadist answers, "He went to sadist paradise." Dilbert ask, "The auditing department?"
Tuesday May 23,
2000
Tags ad campiagn, festured, new ceo, powerful woman, indutry, than lines
Transcript
Dogbert sits next to the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "My consultant thinks you should be featured in our ad campaign." An attractive woman sits behind a large desk and says, "Is that because I'm the new CEO and the most powerful woman in our industry?" The Boss answers, "Umm...yes. That's why." Dogbert turns and says, "Remember to ask about tan lines."

