Ask Yourself Comic Strips - Page 13
551 Results for Ask Yourself
View 121 - 130 results for ask yourself comic strips. Discover the best "Ask Yourself" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 27, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk typing. Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and asks, "What's this?" Dogbert replies, "I'm starting my own newsletter for clueless people." Dogbert continues, "Thanks to the technical marvel of desktop publishing, clueless people will now have the benefit of my immense wisdom." Dilbert asks, "How do you know who the clueless people are?" Dogbert replies, "They ask a lot of questions."
Share August 15, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Don't think of yourself as the least intelligent creature in this room . . ." Dogbert continues, "If you consider the entire planet, you're smarter than literally hundreds of people." Dilbert asks, "Have you ever considered taking up a hobby?" Dogbert replies, "This IS my hobby."
Share December 16, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"
Share January 14, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "Although raising children is difficult, be assured that you will get help from a power greater than yourself." Dogbert types, "Teach your children about the higher power and about the 'Great Book' which will give them direction." A baby sits in a chair in front of a television. The father says, "They're called 'tv listings.' Without them, you're just flipping."
Share February 16, 1993's comic on:
Share March 03, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally, Ted and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've been saying for years that 'employees are our most valuable asset.'" The Boss continues, "It turns out that I was wrong. Money is our most valuable asset. Employees are ninth." Wally says, "I'm afraid to ask what came in eighth." The Boss replies, "Carbon paper."
Share April 27, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert shows the Boss new computer hardware and tells him, "For only twenty-five thousand dollars I've eliminated many tedious and time-consuming processes." The Boss asks, "What would be an example of one of those tedious and time-consuming processes?" Dilbert replies, "Well, there was the process of sitting around and wishing I had more computer stuff . . ." The Boss thinks, "Next time don't ask."
Share May 07, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Excuse me, do you have any pants that AREN'T a twelve-inch waist and fifty inches long?" Dilbert holds up a pair of tiny pants and says, "I ask because there are no human beings who could wear these pants, and one of the secrets of retail success is to stock merchandise that somebody might want." Dilbert continues, "Then people would shop here and actually BUY things." The clerk replies, "Wow, that's way harder than what we do."
Share June 11, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the desk chair working on the computer. Ratbert asks, "Aren't you afraid that if you continue as leader of the nerds, you will become a nerd yourself?" Dogbert answers, "No, because you can't become a nerd unless you have a genetic predisposition toward it." Dilbert enters the room and says, "Look! I added an emergency backup pocket!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "See? You can't learn that stuff in computer class."
Share June 25, 1993's comic on:
Alice walks down the hall thinking, "I am Alice the Compulsive Grabber." Alice thinks, "When I see things that are not right I must grab them." Alice grabs Dilbert's tie. Dilbert says, "In an hour or so I may have to ask you to stop that."