Attacks Intern Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for attacks intern comic strips. Discover the best "Attacks Intern" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #lunch, #wine, #Dilbert, #talk about people, #fertilair, #digging dirt, #intern drunk, #taking notes

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"Asok, let's go to lunch. I'll buy." "Really?" "We'll have some wine, maybe talk about people that we both know." "Fun!" "And what does Dilbert call me?" "The fertiliar! Ha ha!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #finish project, #on time, #geta better boss, #better project, #weeks of confsuion, #no work, #less work, #morale up

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The Boss sits at the conference table and says, "If you don't finish the project on time, I'll probably lose my job." Asok the Intern asks, "What would happen to us?" Dilbert answers, "We would get a better boss." Wally continues, "We might get a better project too!" Alice goes on, "There would be weeks of confusion with no work at all!" Everyone shouts, "YAY!!" Alice holds her hands close to her chest and says, "It's all ours if we simply do less work!" Alice says, "Whoo! I've never felt my morale go up before. I'm dizzy." The Boss looks at his paper and curses, "#$%^$#!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #budget estimate, #useful numbers, #boss hibernation, #say number, #budget

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Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss comes in and says, "I need your budget estimate today." Asok replies, "We won't have useful numbers until next week." Dilbert turns and says, "It doesn't work that way, Asok." Asok says, "No?" Asok and Dilbert approach the Boss who stares blankly into space. Dilbert explains, "As soon as he asked the question, he went into 'boss hibernation.'" Dilbert waves his hand in front of his face and says, "He can't see or hear anything until we say a number. Watch." Dilbert says, "Three million dollars." The Boss comes to and says, "Uhn!" The Boss walks away and says, "Three million. Good work." Dilbert says, "The first time I saw it, I panicked and ended up with a budget of $911."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #conference call, #boss, #15 people, #availablity, #august 6th, #5 minutes, #so far so good

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Asok: "Hello, this is Asok the intern. I am trying to set up a conference all with you boss and 15 other people."<Br>"Could you tell me all of the times he is available in the next six months?"<Br>"Only Augus sixth between 8:35 and 8:40." "So far so good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #worlds greatest intern, #plagues, #bought plague, #less prominent placement, #alice called it

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ASOK: "Alice, you are looking at the newest member of "the world's greatest interns." Alice: "That's a scam to convince gullible interns to buy overpriced wall plaques." Asok: "I'll be displaying you less prominently than we had discussed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #trip to la, #milestones, #burgeoning career, #airport, #pass out, #carrying intern

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Th eBoss: "Asok, I'm flying to Los Angeles for a meeting and I want you to join me." Asok: "Gasp" "I am honored. This feels like an important milestone in my burgeoning career!" Flight attendant: "We'll begin by pre-boarding anyone who..." The boss: "Coming through!" "Flyco!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I'm Betty the Bulldozer, and I always get what I want!" "Drop everything and start doing my bidding now, intern!" "This was just a test. Wait here until I need something." shiver

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2007's comic on:


Tags #software, #budget, #computer, #tiny mittens, #thermometer, #hell, #your turn, #nice guy, #intern, #abused, #mean coworkers, #technology, #engineering

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Asok: I need this software to do my job. The Boss: "The software budget is spent. Just share a computer with someone who has this software." Alice: "Why don't you take your tiny mittens and a thermometer to hell and wait for a sign that it's your turn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #depressed, #corporate job, #intern, #unimportant tasks, #feel nothing, #stressed, #ptsd, #punch, #numb out

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Asok: My job is an endless series of mind-numbingly unimportant tasks. "My central nervous system is starting to atrophy." The Boss: "I'm kind of busy." Asok: "Punch me in the head so I can feel something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #sand wedge, #sandwhich, #golfing, #caddy, #losing adavantage, #eating quickly, #angry intern, #hungry

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The Boss: Give me a sand wedge. Asok: "This sandwich is all I have for lunch. You can take my pride but not my sandwich!" The boss: "I think I'm losing the psychological advantage with my foursome." mmmph chew-chew-chew! hee-hee!!