Become Dependant Comic Strips - Page 13
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170 Results for Become Dependant
View 121 - 130 results for become dependant comic strips. Discover the best "Become Dependant" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 31,
2012
Tags #career plan, #daughter, #trophy wife, #blind guy, #visual, #performing arts
Transcript
The Boss: Alice, This is my daughter. Her career plan is to become a trophy wife for a blind guy. Daughter: And by that he means he's not happy that Im majoring in visual and performing arts. Alice: Im having a real hard time choosing sides on this one.
Saturday September 15,
2012
Tags #celebrities, #wealth, #money manager, #dumb celebrities, #pay close attention, #money invested, #protect money, #money
Transcript
Dogbert: I've decided to become a money manager for dumb celebrities. Celebrities don't pay close attention to where their money is invested, or who is stealing it. Dilbert: So you plan to help them protect their money? Dogbert: That would be one way to play it.
Saturday November 03,
2012
Tags #interviews, #10thousand hours, #practice, #expertise, #resume, #job interview, #incompetent menace, #interview practice, #manager resposibility
Transcript
Boss: Studies show that it takes 10,000 hours of focused practice to become an expert at anything. According to your resume, you've only had enough database experience to be an incompetent menace. Interviewee: How many hours have you practiced doing interviews? Boss: I don't like where this is headed.
Thursday March 28,
2013
Tags #technological singularity, #robots, #program themsleves, #super intelligent species, #competes with humans, #resources, #laws
Transcript
Robot: Im looking forward to something called the technological singularity. Thats when roots will learn to program themselves and become a super intelligent species that competes with humans for limited resources. Dilbert: Luckliy, the three laws will prevent you from hurting us. Robot: Yes, because that is totally a real thing.
Saturday March 30,
2013
Tags #road map, #strengthen core, #real work, #manage, #waste inspiration
Transcript
The Boss: we need to follow our startegy road map and strengthen our core to become the provider of choice. Dilbert: Do you mind if I go do some real work whole you stay here and mange your brains out? Dilbert: I don't want to waste all of you inspiration you just gave me. Alice: snort.
Saturday June 14,
2008
Tags #can't survive, #flyswatter, #late invoices
Transcript
A man says, "My tiny company can't survive if you insist on paying our invoices late." The Boss says, "You should have thought of that before you decided to become a tiny company." The Boss says, "Come here for a second." A man says, "Please... not the flyswatter."
Monday November 10,
2008
Tags #spam filter, #self aware, #managing the company, #messages, #allow through, #email, #hair growth
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our spam filter has become self-aware" Dilbert says, "It's managing the company by deciding which messages to allow through." The Boss says, "All I'm getting is e-mail about hair growth and... ooh, another lucky guess."
Tuesday May 25,
2010
Tags #volunteer, #project, #not enough resources, #flunky, #scared, #sucky, #laugh, #smile, #puppet boy, #dance, #happy
Transcript
Alice says, "Guess what, Ted? I volunteered to run a critical project while knowing I don't have enough resources." Alice says, "When it becomes a crisis, I will delcare martial law and order you to become my flunky." Alice says, "In your face, puppet boy!" Ted says, "This day is turning out to be a little extra sucky."
Saturday July 10,
2010
Tags #public speaking class, #meeting, #habits, #personalities, #robots, #Fun, #sarcastic, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I'm sending all of you to a public speaking class." The Boss says, "They will rid you of your nervous habits? and, with any luck, your personalities too. You will become indistinguishable from robots." Alice says, "Is that as fun as it sounds?" Asok says, "Get out of my head!"
Saturday January 17,
2009
Tags #help, #Advice, #fear, #thinking, #role model
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I have no project. Do you need any help with yours?" Asok says, "No. If I finish my project too soon, I might become like you." Dilbert says, "Can you make a different face when you imagine being like me?" Asok says, "I'm trying but I can't."