Being Obnoxious Comic Strips - Page 13
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515 Results for Being Obnoxious
View 121 - 130 results for being obnoxious comic strips. Discover the best "Being Obnoxious" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 13,
1993
Tags #Wally, #alice, #testosterone, #Women, #fuzzy, #strangely, #attractive, #helpless
Transcript
Drops of liquid fly from Wally's head. Wally thinks, "Being bald isn't so bad. With all this testosterone, men will fear me and women will desire me." Wally approaches a man and woman and says to the man, "Take a hike, fuzzy. She's mine now." The woman says, "I do find you strangely attractive." Wally points to the drops on his head and says, "Testosterone, you're helpless."
Tuesday April 20,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #class, #engineer, #technical, #writing, #reads, #scapegoat, #vacation
Transcript
A school teacher says to a classroom of children, "Dilbert has agreed to talk to the class about exciting careers in the field of engineering!" Dilbert says to the students, "There's more to being an engineer than just writing technical memos that nobody reads." Dilbert continues, "Once in a while, somebody reads one. Then you have to find a scapegoat, or use some vacation time and hope it all blows over."
Thursday April 22,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #social, #life, #engineer, #bonanza, #ladies, #field, #video games, #devices, #non-engineer
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a classroom of children saying, "And don't forget the social life that comes with being an engineer." Dilbert continues, "Ninety percent of all engineers are guys, so it's a bonanza of dating opportunities for the ladies who enter the field." Dilbert continues, "For the men, there are these little video game devices . . ." A little girl raises her hand and asks, "Would I be allowed to date a non-engineer?"
Wednesday May 26,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #daydreaming, #attractive, #wasted, #percent
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Ted, "I understand that you men are spending three quarters of your time daydreaming about attractive women." The Boss asks, "Do you realize how much time is being wasted here?" Dilbert asks, "Twenty-five percent?" Wally says, "It's a trick question." Ted thinks, "Irene."
Friday July 02,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #presentation, #elvis
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert enters holding a piece of paper and says, "Dogbert, tell me if you think my illustration for tomorrow's presentation is clear." Dogbert looks at the illustration and says, "Ah, yes. You're saying the face of Elvis will appear on a credenza after being struck by lightning." Dilbert says, "That's supposed to be a video teleconference." Dogbert says, "I didn't know you could do that with a credenza."
Wednesday July 21,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #law firm, #accounting
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm from the law firm of Dogbert, Dogbert and Dogbert. I'm suing you for draining the life force out of your employees." Dogbert holds a rag and says, "After being drained of life, employees are forced to leave the company. The lucky ones get jobs as rags for a car wash, like Joey Pishkin here." The Boss blows his nose on a rag. Dogbert says to the rag he's holding, "What Joey? That's Marge from accounting???"
Monday July 26,
1993
Tags #big business, #trial, #jury, #verdict, #judge, #Dogbert
Transcript
The foreman of the jury reads a document and says, "The jury has reached a decision in the case of 'Dogbert vs. A Big Corporation.'" The man continues, "We award Dogbert fifty million dollars because we hate big companies and we like little dogs with glasses." The man continues, "And we award a Maytag dryer to juror Mindy for being 'Best Dressed.'" The judge covers his eyes and thinks, "I hate my life."
Sunday July 15,
2012
Tags #all worked up, #complain about attitude, #escalated, #low priority tasks, #emergency
Transcript
Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.
Monday September 27,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #trial, #jury
Transcript
The foreman of the jury stands and reads, "We find the defendant innocent by reason of being generally clueless." Dogbert says to Dogbert who is packing his briefcase, "I know I should be happy, but it's so insulting . . . What will all my friends think?" Dilbert continues, ". . . Not that I have any." Dogbert says, "I call that a win-win scenario."
Wednesday September 29,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #cubicle
Transcript
A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Next week I'll be at my new job, reaping huge rewards." Wally replies, "We're so happy for you." The man says, "But I'll still have a little cubicle like yours." The man continues, "The only difference being that I'll keep a pony there. That way it's close to my office."