Bid To Run Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

198 Results for Bid To Run

View 121 - 130 results for bid to run comic strips. Discover the best "Bid To Run" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #funding, #continuous harping, #expensive consultant, #analyze budget, #chaos, #complexity, #simulations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "In response to your continuous harping about not having enough funding.." The Boss is joined by another man. The Boss continues, "I hired an expensive consultant to analyze your budget." The consultant says to Dilbert, "I'll have to run some chaos and complexity simulations, but it looks as if you need more money."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate people, #never allowed shoes, #Dogbert, #hows my walking, #dial, #1800

View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say, 'How am I walking? Call 1-800 blah, blah, blah.'" "If you call the number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes!" "The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #merging with evil compnay, #downsize, #how valuable

View Transcript

Transcript

"What?!! According to the paper, we're merging with an evil company that plans to downsize us." "Did they run my quote about how valuable you are?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #stock market, #innovative pordcuts, #in pipeline, #r&d budget, #firings, #sexy startup, #work smarter, #ironic, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drive by management, #whats hi sanme, #out run, #answer no questions, #need for clarification, #we're dead

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: It's time for some drive-by-management. Don't forget to do the thing for what hs name or else we're dead. must ...outrun cries for.... clarification.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #combined, #dating service, #online job site, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

"I combined an online dating service with an online job site and an online auction site." "You tell the system everything about yourself and see if anyone wants any of it." ""I wouldn't date you or hire you, but I'll bid a dollar for your refrigerator.""

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #watch my shows, #invite me over, #cable, #pulled, #bug in salad

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmon: "While you're here, be a dear and run some CAT-5 to my walk-in closet so I can watch my shows when I'm in there." Dilbert: "I've notived that you only invite me over when you need a cable pulled." Dilmon: "I don't want to put a bug in your salad, but I will." Dilbert: "I'm glad we had this talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone network, #illegal compnent, #bribe, #nuclear weapon, #add flavor

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your bid to build our cell phone network is the lowest by far." "But I'd feel more comfortable if it had an illegal component." "Like a bribe? Or helping you build a nuclear weapon?" "Yes, just something to add flavor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web service satndards, #consortium, #approval review, #executive board, #review borad

View Transcript

Transcript

"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plant maintenance, #contract, #save money, #adopt plant, #unluckiest plant, #coffee dregs

View Transcript

Transcript

"We canceled our plant maintenance contract to save money." "Each employee will adopt a nearby plant and water it." The Unluckiest Plant in the Whole World "Now when I pour my coffee dregs on you, it will look like work!" "Must...run..."