Book Deal Comic Strips - Page 13

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208 Results for Book Deal

View 121 - 130 results for book deal comic strips. Discover the best "Book Deal" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new product deal, #alert in effect, #danger new idea, #crush o matic

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Wally and Dilbert stand with the Boss. Dilbert says, "Wally and I came up with a great new product idea!" A voice says over an intercom, "Inspiration alert in effect!!" Another voice says, "Danger! New idea!" An arm extends down and drops a metal casing onto the Boss's head. The intercom says, "State your idea now." There is a large mallet poised over Dilbert's head that has written on it, "Crush-O-Matic." Dilbert says to Wally, "Um, you tell him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #elbonian database, #payroll, #accounts receivable, #golf balls

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Dilbert and an Elbonian man sit at a conference table. The Elbonian says, "Our Elbonian database product can replace every one of your current systems." Dilbert says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells Alice, "It can do payroll, accounts receivable, inventory, sales . . ." Alice says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells the Boss, "And I'll throw in some golf balls." The Boss replies, "It's a deal! Just toss them in the lake with all my other ones."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dircetor, #boss didn't see struggle, #low performance, #alice, #human resources binder, #downsize

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Alice sits across from Catbert's desk. She says, "I was so good at my job that I never needed to bother my boss, but he gave me a low rating because he didn't see me struggling." Catbert replies, "I must refer to my human resources binders to see how to deal with this." Catbert looks at a bookcase filled with binders. Most of the binders are labeled "Downsize" and a few are labeled "Hire Losers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #stop watch, #testing theory, #people get dumber, #emotional intelligence, #twelve seconds

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Dilbert lies on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert looks at a stopwatch and says, "Don't mind the stopwatch. I'm testing the theory that people get dumber every minute." Dilbert says, "It's not so simple, Dogbert. You also have to consider my 'emotional intelligence,' which is defined in a book I haven't read." Dogbert stops the watch and says, "Twelve seconds." Dilbert sits up and says angrily, "Give me that watch, you hog!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #analysts, #got a raise, #growth, #lazy ones, #open book management, #smooth earnigs, #stock market, #money

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The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "So you see, if you got a raise, our earnings growth wouldn't be so smooth." The Boss asks, "And smooth earnings are good for who?" Asok ventures a guess, "Stock market analysts?" The Boss corrects him, "Specifically, the lazy ones." Asok says, "I'm fine. Now that I understand."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #open book management, #debt, #equity ratio, #sweeping, #broom, #carpets

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The janitor stands behind Alice at her workstation and says, "... then I sez, "Hey our debt to equity ratio is increasing." The janitor sweeps his broom through the air. "I lept into action and started seeping like I've never swept before!" The janitor says, "Then I sez, 'Hey, why am I using a broom on carpets?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #going forward basis, #time travel, #concept of time, #boss understnds, #got lucky

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The Boss leans against a desk or table and says to Dilbert, "I suggest that you deal with the issue on a going forward basis." Dilbert says, "Thanks for ruling out time travel. You're usually not that helpful." In the cafeteria, Alice, Wally and Dilbert are eating lunch. Alice says, "Are you saying he understands the concept of 'time' now?" Dilbert says, "Or he just got lucky on this one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #remember name, #buddy, #big guy, #name tag

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Dilbert sits on the couch reading a book. Dogbert sits facing Dilbert. Dogbert says, "I'm finding it a burden to remember your name." Dogbert says, "From now on, I'll refer to you as either "buddy" or "big guy".' Dilbert says, "How about if I get a name tag? Then you could just read it." Dogbert says, "Do I look like I have that kind of time?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1998's comic on:


Tags #employee talent show, #charity, #tickets, #give money, #forget idea

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Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at the conference table. The Boss says, "We're having an all-employee talent show for charity. Tickets are three dollars!" Alice rolls her eyes. Alice says, "We'll give you three dollars apiece to forget the whole thing. It works out the same." The Boss says, "Deal." Alice says, "Ironically, math is my only talent."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #set up date, #super model, #scary looking, #skeleton, #dogbert warns dilbert

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Dogbert sits on the couch reading a book. Dilbert says, "I set up a date with the supermodel I met on the internet." Dogbert says, "Supermodels don't look good in person." Dilbert says, "That's silly." Dilbert stands at the supermodels open door. Dilbert holds flowers. The supermodel is a skeleton with a little hair. The supermodel says, "I don't know how to use a vase. Do you mind if I throw those in the trash?"