Business Practivces Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for business practivces comic strips. Discover the best "Business Practivces" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #poison waffles, #stock, #insider trading, #conflicts of interest, #worthwhile, #banking business

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"I'll recommend your stock to the public, but first I need some conflicts of interest to make it worthwhile." "For example, I'll need to get your investment banking business." "Okay." "And you need to merge with my other client that makes poison waffles." "Okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2005's comic on:


Tags #business trip, #success, #civil war, #plunged, #society, #darkenes, #loot anything

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Wally: "My business trip to Elbonia was a success." "If anyone tells you that I cause a civil war that plunged their society into darkness, it's a lie." The Boss: "Did you loot me anything?" wally: "I didn't know your size."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #no budeget, #give raisem, #business trip las vegas, #four million, #bathrub, #flooded five floors, #bartenders

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The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalist, #most desparate, #vc business, #idea worth funding, #crooked teeth

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"I'm Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist." "The VC business is more competitive than ever. I'm going to stalk you until you come up with an idea worth funding." "No pressure, but all of my kids have crooked teeth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #desperate venture capitalist, #vjay, #business plan, #napkin, #lunch, #table, #break room, #money, #throws money

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Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "Does anyone need a napkin to write on?" "What are you thinking now? Could it be a business plan?" "TAKE MY MONEY!!! TAKE IT!!!" "He's nice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2006's comic on:


Tags #business, #competition, #sales, #sales personnel

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The land of unrealistic business assumptions. Dilbert: We need to find some assumptions about future sales. Dang! There's only one way across and it's blocked by an inebriated hillbilly. Dogbert: In the land of unrealistic assumptions, this guy is your only competitor.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2006's comic on:


Tags #new vice president, #billon dollars, #garbage barge, #oceanfront realestate, #open business, #barge

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"I worked all year on a project that got canceled today because we got a new vice president who didn't like it." "I made a billion dollars by convincing suckers that a garbage barge was oceanfront real estate." "Would you lend me some money so I can open my own business." "No, but I know some people on a barge who would."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business meeting, #cup of water, #not impressed, #fill sink, #bring own cup, #not impressive, #optics

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Customer: I'd like to do business with your company, but I'm concerned that the only beverage you can afford to offer me is water from the restroom sink... and I need to bring my own cup. Dilbert: I also offered to fill the sink and let you lap it out. Customer: And now I'm thirsty!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #apathy, #computer programmers, #preventer of information, #business case, #teamwork seminar, #goldfish crackers

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Mordac: I, Mordac, the preventer of information services, reject your business case because you used the old template. Ha ha ha! I feed on your anger and frustration! And now I will eat like a king! Dilbert: Good luck with that. I've been dead on the inside since the teamwork seminar. Mordac: Sheesh. I'm living on goldfish crackers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #gadgets, #competitor, #out of business, #next prodcut, #predictable mediocrity, #genius

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Boss: Good news! Our biggest competitor just went out of business! There was so much anticipation for their next product that no one bought the current one and they ran out of money. Alice: Our strategy of predictable mediocrity paid off again. Boss: It's okay to call it genius.