Butt Work Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for butt work comic strips. Discover the best "Butt Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dinosaur, #fish, #with, #legs, #life, #form, #work, #hard, #part, #mate, #Kids, #mutants, #arm, #dangerfield

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Dogbert walks in the park. A fish with legs comes walking down the path. The fish says, "Howdy!" Dogbert says, "I've never seen a fish with legs." The fish explains, "I'm evolving into a higher life form." Dogbert says, "That sounds like a lot of work." The fish says, "Yeah . . . The hard part is finding a mate who isn't turned off by legs." The fish continues, "With any luck, the kids will be mutants too." The fish continues, "I'm hoping they'll have arms but not look too much like Rodney Dangerfield." The fish stands at the edge of a pond. He tells a female fish, "These legs are a natural advantage!" The female says, "Oh, that's original."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #butterfly, #bug, #flying, #much, #now, #kill, #flatten, #becomes, #beautiful, #work, #art, #guts, #wings, #evenly, #spaced, #ants, #pants, #mother, #nature, #standing, #resist

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in the bushes. Dilbert points and says, "Look! A beautiful Regency butterfly!" Dogbert says, "Beautiful?? It's a flying BUG." Dilbert says, "It may not seem like much now . . ." Dilbert continues, "But after we kill it, dip it in chemicals, and flatten it between glass, it becomes a beautiful work of art!" Dogbert asks, "Do we throw away the bug guts and just keep the wings?" Dilbert replies, "No. The guts keep the wings evenly spaced." Dilbert screams and yells, "Ants in my pants!!" He jumps out of the bushes. As Dilbert runs away, a woman comes out of the bushes. Dogbert says, "Mother Nature!" Mother Nature says, "He was standing right on an anthill. I couldn't resist."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1991's comic on:


Tags #curiosity, #information, #secret, #Dilbert, #meeting, #brief, #companys, #policy, #locked, #night, #great, #value, #competitors, #companies, #pay, #annual, #salary, #best, #work

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Dilbert stands at the front of a conference room. He says, "I've been asked to brief everybody on the company's policy for protecting secret information." Dilbert continues, "All secret information must be locked up at night." Dilbert continues, "Our secrets could be of great value to our competitors." Dilbert continues, "In fact, some companies try to buy the secrets of their competitors." A woman asks, "Just out of curiosity, how much would our competitors pay for our secrets?" Dilbert replies, "Oh, I dunno . . . Maybe several times your annual salary." The people at the table smirk at each other. Dilbert thinks, "I don't think this was some of my best work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #engineering work, #shoved down stairs, #killed boss, #forces of darkeness, #posses body

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The caption says, "Performance Review." Alice sits across from Ted's desk. Ted reads a document and says, "Your engineering work was excellent, Alice. But there was the little incident where you . . ." Ted stands, revealing a devil's tail, and screams, "Shoved me down a flight of stairs and killed me, thus inviting the forces of darkness to possess my body!!!" Alice holds up a crucifix and yells, "Back!" Dilbert sees Alice walking out of Ted's office and asks, "How'd it go?" Alice replies, "I swear, this job is all politics."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #billionaire, #charity work, #contribution, #fine arts, #software company

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Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "After I become a billionaire from my software company I'll do a little dance." Dogbert dances on the armrest and sings, "I'm so rich / It's me you hail / If I'm obnoxious / Kiss my tail." Dilbert asks, "Do you plan to do any charity work?" Dogbert replies, "Let me put it this way - you just saw my contribution to the fine arts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #software development work, #impoverished nation, #elbonia, #high quality code, #no risk, #red alert.elbonia, #be computer tomorrow

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I moved our software development work to the impoverished nation of Elbonia." The Boss continues, "I'm brilliant. They write high-quality code for six cents a day! There's no risk!" Dilbert thinks, "Red alert!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian wearing a box on his head says, "Tomorrow, YOU be the computer." Another Elbonian stands in front of him pretending to type on a keyboard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #software development work, #tiny nation, #elbonia, #integrating software, #existing systems, #tuberculosis vaccination

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Alice says to Dilbert, "I heard that our software development work has been moved to the tiny nation of Elbonia." Dilbert responds, "Things can't get worse than that." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Dilbert, you're in charge of integrating the Elbonian's software with our existing systems." Dilbert looks stunned. Dilbert says to Alice, "Okay, NOW it can't get any worse." The Boss adds, "You might want to get a tuberculosis vaccination."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #demo, #ne wpordcut, #vp next week, #delay, #ship date, #lower morale, #create unending demand, #unproductive demos, #doing valuable work, #quality, #banner

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The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Could you do a demo of the new product for our VP next week?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . That would delay the ship date, lower morale and create an unending demand for more unproductive demos . . ." Dilbert continues, "Logically, since your objective is to show that we're doing valuable work . . ." The Boss interrupts, "And we'll need a banner that says 'Quality.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1996's comic on:


Tags #slaving away, #executive board meeting, #work avoidance chromosome, #avoiding it, #be ready

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Dilbert reclines in his chair and hums. Alice asks him, "Why aren't you slaving away, preparing for the executive review board meeting?" Dilbert replies, "I have the male 'work avoidance chromosome.' I can detect unnecessary work, thereby avoiding it." Alice says angrily, "We ALL have to be ready to present something!" Wally peers over the cubicle wall and say, "Could you hold it down? I'm trying to sleep."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #review board, #fist of death, #alice, #wally no work, #nostradamus, #alice punches wally

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The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The executive review board meeting is canceled. I hope you didn't work too hard preparing for it." Alice clenches her teeth and thinks, "Must . . . control fist . . . of . . . death . . ." Wally says, "Unlike Alice, I saw it coming and did no work whatsoever." Alice punches Wally and his head collapses into his shirt. She asks, "Did you see THAT coming, Nostradamus?" Dilbert asks, "What does this do to headcount?"