Career Success Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

330 Results for Career Success

View 121 - 130 results for career success comic strips. Discover the best "Career Success" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new house, #next week, #heavy objects, #help, #cares about career, #professional companies exist, #move things, #wonderful system, #mobile home, #trailer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. The Boss approaches and says, "I'm moving to a new house next week." The Boss continues, "I have lots of heavy objects that need to be moved." The Boss continues, "I wonder who will help me." The Boss continues, "Maybe it will be someone who cares about his career." Dilbert turns and asks, "Did you know that professional moving companies exist?" Dilbert continues, "It's true. You give them money and they move your heavy things." Dilbert continues, "It's a wonderful system. You should look into it." The Boss says to Carol, "And maybe you can bring your trailer." Carol exclaims, "It's a mobile home!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #engineer, #huge, #huge buzz, #huge success, #sales increase, #six emails, #track numbers, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

A coworker addresses the meeting, "The ad campaign was a huge, huge success!" The Boss responds, "Wow!" Dilbert responds, "Define 'huge, huge' success.' How much did sales increase?" The coworker replies, "We don't track those numbers." The coworker continues, "But I know the ad created a huge buzz because of all the e-mail I got the next day." Dilbert asks the coworker, "How many messages did you get?" The coworker responds, "Six. But that's a lot for one topic." The Boss exclaims, "Wow! Six!" Dilbert responds, "How many of the six were from your own employees?" The coworker turns to The Boss and asks, "Who invited the engineer?" The Boss replies, "I thought he was with you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #away from home more, #career advice, #good advice, #hearing it, #hideous commute, #longer hours, #no growth potential, #self loathing, #unhappiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "I need career advice." Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place." Dilbert says, "Should I keep my comfortable job that has no growth potential?" Dilbert continues, "Or should I take a better job with longer hours and a hideous commute?" Dogbert answers, "The first choice is a sure path to self-loathing and unhappiness." Dogbert continues, "The second choice will squeeze the life out of you like a vise on a peach." Dogbert continues, "You really can't win. So I recommend the choice that keeps you away from home more." Dogbert continues, "Because frankly - and I'll try to say this delicately - a little bit of you goes a long way." Dogbert concludes, "That's the problem with good advice. No one wants to hear it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #schematic, #office politics, #ruin teds career, #say bad things, #rumor mill, #ted is history, #backfired, #tested, #phil quit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his desk drawing a map. He says, "I've created a schematic of office politics in my company." Dogbert says, "Nicely done." Dilbert says, "Let's say I want to ruin Ted's career." Dilbert continues, "I could say bad things to Tina about Ted. Tina carpools with Ming and Ming takes yoga classes with Carol." Dilbert continues, "And Carol is a secretary for Ted's boss. So Ted would be history." Dilbert continues, "Of course it wouldn't be ethical to test the system." Dogbert replies, "Unless..." Dogbert points to the map and continues, "..You use the Phil-Alice-Larry circuit to get Ted rehired." Dilbert replies, "Yup, yup." Dilbert concludes talking to Tina with, "...And that's why Ted is worthless." He pauses and then asks, "Hey, where's Phil today?" Tina replies, "He quit." Dilbert asks Dogbert at home, "Why do I listen to you?" Dogbert responds, "Because of a little thing I call charisma."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rich people, #thinking, #fool proof, #plan for success, #think about shoes, #easy tasks

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have a fool-proof plan for success. I will read a book on how rich people think. Then I will start thinking this way. Book: Rich people think about their shoes a log. Asok: I can do that!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee & tea, #double coffee, #success, #work ethic, #passion, #necessary

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm double-mugging because I heard that passion is necessary for success. By 4pm I'll be so passionate I'll be dating my chair. Catbert: Nothing about that sounded right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excitement, #flattery, #respect, #companys success

View Transcript

Transcript

Customer Meeting CEO: The secret of our company's success is that we hire good people. Dilbert: What? Are you saying I'm good? I've never heard a compliment at work. What is that feeling inside me? Is it the thing called self-esteem? Customer: Awkward. CEO: Just ignore him. Dilbert: Behold my goodness!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #progress, #key to success, #hire, #business is successful, #circular reasoning

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: What is the key to success? CEO: Hire the right employees! Dogbert: How do you know you hired the right ones? CEO: You know because the business is successful. Dogbert: So the key to success is circular reasoning? CEO: Yes, because circular reasoning is the key.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #secret of success, #plan b, #two hairballs, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, the secret to success is making your boss look good. Asok: What if my boss looks like two hairballs on an infected bladder? There's no way to make that look good. Boss: You're not off to a strong start. Asok: Please tell me there's a Plan B.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #children & adults, #genetic makeup, #success, #upbringing, #warm thermos, #curious type, #mother, #coffee, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you think success is mostly a function of your genetic makeup or your upbringing? Wally: My mom raised me by putting a warm thermos of coffee in my crib and going out for the day. And I turned out great. Asok: I have no follow-up questions, in case you wondered. Wally: I'm not the curious type.