Customer Service Comic Strips - Page 13
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320 Results for Customer Service
View 121 - 130 results for customer service comic strips. Discover the best "Customer Service" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 18,
2005
Tags cable company, abusive service windows, regis and kelly
Transcript
Dogbert: "I'm going to work for the cable company." Dilbert: "Why?" Dogbert: "I enjoy giving people abusive service windows." Dilbert: "Oh" Dogbert: "Well, if you can't be home from March to October, then say goodbye to Regis and Kelly!"
Thursday February 24,
2005
Tags bonus, selling stuff, customer, can't pay, sociopath
Transcript
Dilbert: "Today I got a bonus for selling stuff to a customer who probably can't pay." Dogbert: "Does your soda taste any less delicious?" Dilbert: "No." Dogbert: "Congratulations, you're a sociopath." Dilbert: "It feels kinda good."
Thursday April 07,
2005
Tags tech support, online customer survey, how happy
Transcript
Dogbert's Tech Support: Please fill out the online customer satisfaction survey." "Um... But you haven't even tried to help me yet." "I like to base my help on how happy you expect to be."
Wednesday August 17,
2005
Tags topper vs. a customer, dogsled race, world toughest terrain, better than, top you, cancel deal, burn to ground, go one better, more better
Transcript
Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"
Thursday July 19,
2007
Tags employee orientation, no time, exercise, long hours, trans fat, positive note, payroll dedcution, service, save money, dirt, cubicle, burial site, health
Transcript
Employee Orientation Catbert: "This job will leave you with no time for exercise." "You will work long hours and consume trans fats until you are shaped like this." "On a positive note, our payroll deduction service allows you to save money for dirt to turn your cubicle into a burial site."
Sunday April 09,
2000
Tags fly to austin, customer, call big cutsomers, go inperson, telephone, show you care, concept of phone
Transcript
Dilbert sits at the Boss' desk in his office and the Boss says to him, "Fly to Austin and answer some questions for a big customer." Dilbert asks, "Doesn't this customer have a telephone?" The Boss replies in shock as he thrusts his arms out to the side. "You don't call big customers!" Obviously confused, Dilbert aks "Um...why not?" In an exasperated voice, The Boss replies "You have to go in person to show that you care." Still not catching on, Dilbert replies "Actually, that would show that I didn't understand the concept of the telephone.? Now completely disgusted, The Boss replies "Just go." Dilbert is now sitting at a table with Ted who holds a phone in his hand and asks, "Do they have these where you come from?"
Monday November 12,
2012
Tags employees, improvement plan, 90 day, individual honor, valuable service, polite, thanks, business
Transcript
Ted: Guess who made it onto the generic ninety-day improvement plan. I don't think of it as an individual honor. I think of it as doing a valuable service for the team. Dilbert: Should we thank him? Wally: Are we polite now?
Monday September 22,
2008
Tags tech support, imitates german, secretary, complaint service, calls loser
Transcript
Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert says, "Please hold while I escalate your complaint about my service." Dogbert says, "Hallow. Dis ees Doogbert's sooper-biser. You are a stupid, stupid, loooser." Dogbert says, "Ookay, pleeze hoold while I escooolade eben furder."
Tuesday December 09,
2008
Tags job, lose my job, rate service superiro, service, successful man, survey, loose job, loose wife, business
Transcript
Mordac: You will get a survey asking you how satisfied you were with my service today. If you don't rate my service superior in all categories, I will lose my jobs and my wife will leave me for a more successful man. Dilbert: Is she cute? Mordac: Why do you ask?
Tuesday May 04,
2010
Tags meeting, technology service, hospice, bazooka, hold gun, intimidate, compassion, surprise, scared, computer, windows xp, technology, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Technology Hospice Service to ease the suffering of our dying technology." The Boss says, "Dogbert will use compassion and? what was the other thing?" Dogbert says, "Bazooka." Dogbert says, "Step away from the Windows XP!"


