Different Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

143 Results for Different

View 121 - 130 results for different comic strips. Discover the best "Different" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #climate change, #carbon dioxide, #emissions, #global warming, #environmental issues

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Randy Sees Normals As Livestock

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Randy Sees Normals As Livestock - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #microchip, #technology, #nanotechnology, #ego, #cattle

View Transcript

Transcript

Randy: I am one of the first humans to have a microchip embedded in my brain. I'm so smart that you "normals" are like livestock to me now. Dilbert: We can't be that different. Randy: My chip translates everything you say to "moo."

Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virus, #hack, #infection, #computer, #spelling, #grammar, #edit, #improvement, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The Elbonian virus scrambled our mission statement into nonsense. Alice: No, that's our actual mission statement. Dilbert: Why does it look so different? Alice: The virus fixed the grammar and punctuation.

Asok Is A Narcissist Too

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is A Narcissist Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #situation, #too dumb, #narcissist, #Right, #wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Dilbert is a total narcissist, He refuses to admit when he'swrong. Asok: How would the situation look any different to you if he's actually right most of the time and you're too dumb to know it? Ted: I don't understand your point. Asok: According to your that makes me a narcissist.

Wally Pivots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Pivots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #frustration, #wasting time

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?

Arresting The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Arresting The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.

Idea Stealing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Idea Stealing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idea, #manager, #credit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What does everyone think of my idea? Dilbert: I suggested that same idea last week and you said it was terrible. Boss: Your idea was totally different because it involved you getting the credit.

Asking Successful People For Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

History Doesn't Repeat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
History Doesn't Repeat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #plan, #solution, #thinking, #history, #new

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your plan is dumb because it reminds me of something different that didn't work out. Dilbert: Being reminded of unrelated things is not a form of thinking. Ted: History repeats. Dilbert: Then how does something new ever happen?