Drink Himself Comic Strips - Page 13
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The Boss calls to Dilbert as he stands in the doorway of his office. "Thanks to you, my computer screen is all fuzzy now!" Dilbert continues walking, wondering to himself what the Boss was talking about. The Boss is irritated with Dilbert and with both arms raised he says, "You're always fiddling with something that makes something else stop working." Dilbert replies, "Don't clean your screen with your handkerchief during flu season." The Boss answers with both hands on his hips, "Stop changing the subject."
Sitting at his desk, the Boss thinks to himself, "I should create my own little internet start-up." The Boss continues thinking, "All I need is a business plan." As the Boss approaches Carol's desk, Carol replies "The V.C. are sick of B to B." The Boss thinks to himself, "The Vietcong are sick of breakfast in bed?"
The Boss types on his computer, "Due to worsening storm conditions, all 'non-essential' personnel may go home early." The Boss reaches in his desk drawer. The Boss peers out the window in his office through his binoculars and thinks to himself, "This will be the earliest round of layoffs ever."
As Dilbert sits at his computer he thinks to himself, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks." Dilbert continues thinking, "I must use all my willpower to resist checking every ten seconds." Dilbert again thinks, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks."
Wally says to Alice while pouring himself a cup of coffee, "I'm going to follow Tom Peters' advice and become my own brand." Alice replies, "The phrase you're least likely to hear is, 'I gotta get me some of that." Wally walks away thinking, "Day one: Not so good."
Dilbert thinks to himself while sitting at his desk, "Today I will know the joy of uninterrupted productivity." Wally approaches Dilbert with a cup of coffee in hand and says, "We're forming a posse to find out who leaves crumbs in the sink." Dilbert replies, "I assume it's you." Wally answers, "We need more black sheep around here."
Carol approaches the Boss and says, "Now sign this and this and this." The Boss replies, "This is a murder confession." Carol answers, "It's for the file." The Boss thinks to himself, "Someday I'm going to take a good look at that file."
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I hid the emergency flashights so no one can play with them." Wally replies, "Who plays with flashlight? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." As Wally and Dilbert leaves, the Boss thinks to himself "The short Jedi will die first."
Sitting at his computer, Asok thinks to himself "Send. Ooh!" Asok thinks to himself, "I get a tiny feeling of self-worth when I send e-mail to my boss." Dilbert says to Wally, loud enough for Asok to hear, "Looks like someone has an e-mail monkey on his back." Asok replies, "I can quit whenever I want!"
With a turkey attached to his back, Asok says to Dilbert "I used to have an e-mail monkey on my back, but I went cold turkey." Asok continues, "I still do a little chatting but that's not addictive. Is it?" A monkey approches Asok and introduces himself, "I'm Rofl." Asok replies, "Oh, just shut up and hop on."