Employee Recognition Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

503 Results for Employee Recognition

View 121 - 130 results for employee recognition comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Recognition" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ideas for boosting morale, #employee pot luck, #schedule conflcits, #brings small meal, #pviep

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Does anyone have any ideas for boosting morale?" Wally raises his hand, "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!" Wally says, "The employee potluck lunch that we had last year was almost perfect." Wally continues, "But we only had it once and some people had schedule conflicts." Wally continues, "I call my idea the 'Permanent Virtual Individual Employee Potluck' or P.V.I.E.P for short." Wally continues, "Every day, each employee brings a small meal in a bag and eats it whenever he gets hungry." The Boss says, "You already do that. " Wally replies, "And look how happy I am!" The Boss says, "Okay, who is going to organize the P.V.I.E.P.?" Wally responds, "Alice hasn't helped yet." Alice cringes in anger.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #objectives, #play computer, #solitaire, #drink coffee, #valuable lesson, #reading documents, #signing, #games of solitaire, #something new, #employee of month

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss walks down the hall and thinks, "I hate today.. I hate today." The Boss takes a seat by Wally in the conference room and thinks, "Wally's annual performance review." The Boss says to Wally, "Let's compare your objectives with.." The Boss pauses and then continues, "What the...?" The Boss says, "Apparently your objectives are "play computer solitaire and drink coffee." Wally says, "I hope you're learning a valuable lesson about reading documents before signing them." The Boss responds, "Okay, we'll use what we have. How many games of solitaire did you win?" Wally says, "Win? I didn't know you could win. Is that something new?" After the meeting, Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "He made you employee of the month?" Wally responds, "He thinks he signed a warning for my file."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #research expense, #highly trained engineer, #not a clerk, #employee, #trivial task, #project cancelled, #assignment, #kudos award

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, research this expense and find out what it's for." Dilbert looks at the paper and says, "It's only $2.37." Dilbert exclaims, "It could take all day to track down!" Dilbert continues, "I'm a highly trained engineer, not a clerk." Dilbert crumples up the paper and exclaims, "How can you justify wasting a valuable employee like me on a trivial task like this?!!" The Boss responds, "That reminds me: your project got canceled. This is your only assignment." The Boss does a dance and exclaims, "Woo-hoo! In your face!!!" As The Boss walks away, he thinks, "I wonder if he'll find out I spent $2.37 on his "kudos" award."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #employee personality prefremces, #styles of thinking, #solve problems, #moral and values, #randy is idiot, #illogical, #menacing

View Transcript

Transcript

A female employee says, "I have the results of the Employee Personality Type Preferences." Dilbert, sitting at a table with Randy and Alice, says, "Remind me again why we're doing this." The female employee says, "Your teamwork will be better when you understand that you have different styles of thinking." Randy sits and listens as the female employee says to Dilbert, "For example, Dilbert prefers to use logic to solve problems." Dilbert looks at Randy as the female employee says, "But Randy relies more heavily on morals and values to solve problems." Randy's eyes grow wide as Dilbert says, "That sounds like a fancy way of saying Randy is an idiot." Dilbert and Alice look at Randy as Randy says, "Oh, yeah? Well, I might be an idiot but you're illogical." Dilbert and Alice pat Randy on the shoulders as Randy says, "That didn't sound as menacing as I had hoped." Dilbert says, "It's okay." Alice says, "We understand."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #cruel to fire friday, #employee appreciation day, #employee of the month, #evil catbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. The Boss asks, "When should we do the layoffs?" Catbert responds, "Experts say that Friday is the cruelest day of the week to fire people." Catbert continues, "So let's do it Friday." The Boss responds, "Friday is our Employee Appreciation Day." Catbert gasps, "Ah-Ah Ah-Wooo!!!" The Boss is alarmed. He asks, "What was that?" Catbert responds, "You don't want to know." The Boss hands an award to an employee and says, "Congratulations on being named Employee of the Month." The Boss continues, "Now.. you know how some months are shorter than others?" Catbert gasps, "Ah-ah wooo!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #online ethics course, #kill coworker, #failed ethics test, #first employee to fail

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: You're the first employee in company history to fail the online ethics course. Wally: I protest the grading system! Ethics are subjective. There are no right answers! Catbert: You said you would kill a coworker if you knew you wouldn't get caught. Wally: It was hard to know what answer they were looking for.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #costumes, #deception, #employees, #ordinary workers, #new employee, #best way, #kill boss, #kindness, #strangling w intestines, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hello, ordinary workers. I am a new employee just like you. Alice: We're discussing the best way to kill our boss. Boss; You could kill him with kindness. Alice: I'm leaning toward strangling him with his own intestines.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #costumes, #deception, #downtrodden employee, #awesome person in disguise, #spider eggs, #bosses coffee, #survive, #learned, #knowledge is over rated

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hello, downtrodden employee. I am one of you, and not an awesome person in disguise. Carol: I put spider eggs in my boss's coffee in the hope that some survive and burrow out of his body. Catbert: What have you learned so far? Boss: I learned that knowledge is overrated.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employees, #work ethic, #managers should hire, #clear expectations, #micromanaging, #employee engement, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say managers should hire great people and set clear expectations. They don't say what to do when you get the first part wrong, but I'm leaning toward micromanaging. Alice: My employee engagement just went down. Boss: That was never a real thing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #efficiency experts, #employee tracking, #wandering aorund, #meetings, #restroom trips, #employee monitoring, #wrist monitor, #low levels of caffeine, #typos up, #beat authority figure, #tablet computer, #danger signals, #workloads

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Okay, let's see how employee 3452378 is doing. According to our employee tracking system, you have wandered around the office 17% more than the average employee. Dilbert: Maybe I have more meetings than most people. Boss: No, most of the difference is in restroom trips and detours past an attractive woman's desk. Your wrist monitor shows unacceptably low levels of caffeine for your workload. That's probably why your typos are up 9% and you have looked away from your workstation nine more times than last month. Now your wrist monitor indicated a desire to bean an authority figure to death with his own tablet computer. Phew! Your brain's wuss subroutine just kicked in. The danger has passed.