Fast Guy In Tights Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for fast guy in tights comic strips. Discover the best "Fast Guy In Tights" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #customers current, #future needs, #new design, #need to upgrade, #flaws in design, #flaws, #inetrface, #confounding, #crippling electric shocks, #guy with mullet, #marketing, #business

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "My new design will meet all of our customers' current and future needs." The Boss is sitting with two board members, one male and one female. The male board member says, "That's no good; they'll never need to upgrade." Dilbert responds, "Please don't ask me to put flaws in my design." The Boss says, "Flaws could work." The male board member says, "We need flaws." The female board member says, "Flaws, flaws, flaws." Dilbert grabs his tie in fear and says, "Please.... No....." The Boss says, "Make it freeze every hour." The male board member says, "The interface needs to be more confounding." The female board member raises her finger and says, "And..." Headline: Later. Dilbert is on the floor begging, "Please... No more." A voice from the meeting continues, "... And crippling electric shocks." Headline: Much, much later. The Boss says, "The help screen could recommend marrying an unemployed, shirtless guy with a mullet." The male board member responds, "That's marketing!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #cheese, #parmesan cheese, #truck loads, #offer, #world o cheese exhibit, #weird obsession, #cheese obsession, #cheeseboy, #wally leather, #leather products

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The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle with a new employee, The Too Helpful Guy. Dilbert and the Too Helpful Guy shake hands. The Too Helpful Guy asks, "Do you like cheese, Dilbert?" Dilbert answers, "Um...Yes, I guess so." The Boss leaves and Too Helpful Guy continues, "I'll send two truckloads of parmesan cheese to your house!" Dilbert replies, "Thanks...But I don't need that much cheese." Too Helpful Guy replies, "Message Received!" He continues, "I'll send you some bread and a fondue set too." The Too Helpful Guy holds out two slips of paper and Dilbert stares at them. The Too Helpful Guy says, "Here are two tickets to the World-O-Cheese exhibit in Wisconsin." The Too Helpful Guy continues, saying, "Your new nickname will be 'Cheeseboy' to reflect your weird obsession." Wally enters the cubicle and says to Too Helpful Guy, "Hi. I'm Wally." Too Helpful Guy holds out his hand and asks, "Wally, do you like leather products?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #marketing guy, #customers, #write fiction, #biographies, #daily lives, #typical customers, #drown in aquariums

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Marketing Guy: We need to know how our customers live and work. I'd like each of you to write fictional biographies that describe the daily lives of our typical customers. I feel you're not taking this seriously. Dilbert: Most of our customers drown in aquariums. The Marketing Guy. Five Minutes Later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #apathy, #northern data, #cloud, #cloud guy, #data center

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Wally: I migrated our northern data center to the cloud. But the cloud stopped working and I can't find the phone number for our clout guy. So... whatever. Boss: You lost our data center? Wally: That's one way to look at it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2013's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #work ethic, #attend meetings, #add value, #big idea guy, #conceptualist

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Coworker: You attend all of my project meetings but you never add value. Wally: I'm more of a big idea guy-- a conceptualist, if you will. Coworker: Okay, what's your big idea? Wally: Okay, here's where my system breaks down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #ethics course, #failed ethics, #engineer, #grasp, #fast track, #management, #corrupt, #business, #engineering

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Boss: You failed the online ethics course for the third time. You can't be an engineer for this company if you have no grasp of business ethics. You leave me no choice. I'm putting you on the management fast track. Wally: Huh.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #baby, #falls, #game, #management fast track, #money, #money bags, #punch wessel, #rescuing plastic baby, #test, #weasel, #greed, #failed test

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Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #build hyperloop, #connect every city, #fast transportaion, #vision, #pat back

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CEO: Build a hyperloop to connect every major city in the world with super-fast transportation. The vision was the hard part. You idiots can work on the details. Someone pat me on the back. I can't reach it with my T-rex arms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #terrorists, #weapons, #fleet small drones, #customers, #infidels, #design guy, #mullah john smith

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Boss: We won the bid to build a fleet of small drones for retail package delivery. I'm not sure why they call their customers infidels, but I doubt that's important. You'll be working with their design guy, who's name is Mullah John Smith.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #reports, #cycnical, #accurate worldview, #upset people, #angry guy, #confident in worldview

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Boss: I'm getting reports that you're being cynical. Dilbert: It's called an accurate worldview. You should try it sometime. Boss: If it's accurate, why are people upset? Dilbert: Said the angry guy to the one who isn't.