Form Teams Comic Strips - Page 13
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Character
134 Results for Form Teams
View 121 - 130 results for form teams comic strips. Discover the best "Form Teams" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 25,
2015
Dilbert Forms Snap Judgement
Tags #judgment, #judging, #first impression, #meeting people
Transcript
Tim: Hi, I'm Tim. Dilbert: That's enough. I formed a snap judgement. Studies say we form snap judgments about people.And I already did, so no need for details. Tim: I'm just looking for my phone. Dilbert: Yup, I already judged you to be flakey.
Friday August 07,
2015
Motivation Is Magical Thinking
Tags #motivation, #magic, #inspiration, #futility, #futile, #honesty, #hard truth
Transcript
Dogbert: Motivation is a form of magical thinking in which you imagine that your words can turn useless people into high achievers. Boss: But it totally works, right? Dogbert: Yes, because magic is real. Boss: Is it hard to learn? Dogbert: Not if you already know how to lie.
Sunday September 20,
2015
Tags #managers & supervisors, #credit, #motivation, #obliviousness, #hiring, #logic, #business
Transcript
Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?
Friday September 25,
2015
Ceo's Yacht
Tags #hypocrisy, #money, #salary, #wages, #net worth, #rich people, #yacht, #obliviousness, #saving, #cost
Transcript
CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.
Tuesday October 31,
2017
Neural Link To Phone
Tags #mind control, #phone, #technology, #invention, #cognition, #thought
Transcript
Dilbert: When I press this button, your brain will form a neural link to your phone. Boss: Then I can control my phone with my thoughts? Dilbert: No, your phone will control you. Boss: Hey, I didn't agree to... Dilbert: Too late. Narrator: Continued...
Saturday May 12,
2018
Purchasing Did Not Order Part
Tags #delays, #excuses, #laziness, #work ethic, #scapegoat, #deadline, #delay
Transcript
Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.
Thursday August 09,
2018
History Doesn't Repeat
Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #plan, #solution, #thinking, #history, #new
Transcript
Ted: Your plan is dumb because it reminds me of something different that didn't work out. Dilbert: Being reminded of unrelated things is not a form of thinking. Ted: History repeats. Dilbert: Then how does something new ever happen?
Tuesday January 29,
2019
New Forms
Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.
Friday February 08,
2019
Forming Your Own Opinions
Tags #Opinion, #social media, #current events, #smartphone
Transcript
Boss: I used to form my own opinions about current events. Now I just copy whatever the people I follow on social media say. Dilbert: Where do they get their opinions from? Boss: From something called an algorithm.
Saturday February 09,
2019
Social Media Mind Control
Tags #control, #social media, #selfie, #smartphone
Transcript
Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control? Boss: I...am not...worried about...that. Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner. Boss: Must...post...selfie...