Boss: I want you to take over Ted's software upgrade. Can you finish that in a week?
Dilbert: Are you kidding? It will take a week just to bad-mouth his existing code to everyone within walking distance.
Boss: Is that part necessary?
Dilbert: Like water to a fish.
boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting?
dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety.
boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight?
dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.