Give Big Raises Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for give big raises comic strips. Discover the best "Give Big Raises" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bailout loan, #excellent lobbyists, #taxpayers give money, #leagl

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "The government is giving us a bailout loan because we have excellent lobbyists!" The Boss exclaims, "Ha ha! Taxpayers will give us money so we can build overpriced products to sell to taxpayers!" Dilbert turns to The Boss and says, "Remind me again why any of this is legal." The Boss replies, "Wuss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #burned down, #customer headquaters, #employee screws up, #performance reviews, #demo unit

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned down our customer's headquarters." The Boss asks, "Do you have a minute?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame insurance carrier, #give reason, #master plan, #parking lot, #reason, #remove all joy, #tell kids, #universe, #no skateboarding

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The Boss and Carol are looking out the window at the parking lot below. The Boss says, "Carol, tell those kids they can't skateboard in our parking lot." Carol responds, "Should I give them a reason, or is this part of your master plan to remove all joy from the universe?" Catbert is standing by a globe. The Boss says, "They know about the plan." Catbert responds, "Fool! I told you to blame our insurance carrier!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #good news, #half huge raises, #same people, #ran numbers

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "The good news is that half of you will get huge raises." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that half of you will be downsized tomorrow." Dilbert turns and says, "Is it the same people?" The Boss replies, "Yeah, we ran the numbers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wants a husbnd, #cooks and cleans, #raises kids, #pursue career, #total turn on, #lemon wedges

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Alice says to Carol, "I want a husband who cooks and cleans and raises the kids while I pursue my career." Alice continues, "To me, that sort of man would be a total turn-on." A man wearing an apron approaches Alice and says, "Yoo-Hoo! Who likes lemon wedges?" A heart floats above Alice's head.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laughs alot, #hired, #morale, #big impact, #crazy alice

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"You laugh at everything, whether it's funny or not." "Ha ha ha!! It's true." "You're hired. You'll have a big impact on morale!" "Ha ha ha!! Yes, I will!" "Must stay alive." "HA HA HA!! COMPUTERS ARE FUNNY! HA HA!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big picture, #drifting, #floating, #above earth, #plane, #coach, #in plane

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Dilbert: "I recommend that we look at the big picture and view it from 20,000 feet." The Boss: "Drifting.. floating above the Earth.. wait.. a plane is coming right at me! NO-O-O-O!!!" Dilbert: "Maybe you should imagine you're in the plane." The Boss: "GAAAA!! I'm in coach!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #too much work, #give too much work, #blame others, #angry, #its all you!

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"Alice, your problem is that you take on too much work." "The problem is that you GIVE me too much work!" "Your second problem is that you blame others, and your third problem is that you're always angry." "GAAA!! IT'S ALL YOU!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concierge, #hotel, #slave, #do naything, #oo much, #donate kidney, #kiss up, #over trained, #give pay

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Concierge: "Welcome to the Metrogarden hotel! How may I make your stay incredible?" "I would be delighted to iron your socks, examine you for suspicious moles or take a second job and give you my pay." Dilbert: "I think they over-trained you." "I'm shaved and preped to donate a kidney."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor dogbert show, #big woman, #little man, #tv show, #freak show, #man, #hot dog bun, #doll like husband, #interview, #tv camera

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Doctor Dogbert Show Dogbert: Today we'll meet a couple who have a common problem. Big woman: I make him sleep in a gigantic hot dog bun. Dogbert: Can I see it? Man: No... please big woman: And the problem is that he snores.