Gives Award Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

146 Results for Gives Award

View 121 - 130 results for gives award comic strips. Discover the best "Gives Award" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, managers & supervisors, morale, robots, problems, lying, spectacular job, award randomly, in charge, robot boss, temporary, employees, oversight, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you have any problems filling in for me while I was on vacation? Robot: It was hard at first. I couldn't tell who was lying about doing a spectacular job. Boss: That's why I reward them randomly. Robot: I tried that and it did seem to settle them down.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

World's Greatest Economist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
World's Greatest Economist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coincidence, deception, economist, economy, money, random jargon, art, science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.

Wally Drinks Deeply From His Trophy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Drinks Deeply From His Trophy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, thinking, coffee, mug, trophy, award, inspiration

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We need new ideas. I shall drink deeply from my "Employee of the Year" trophy. Mmm... coffee. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Alice: Got any new ideas? Wally: Ambidextrous coffee mug!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quality, work ethic, shortcut, laziness, defective, awards, engineer, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!

Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags idea, reality, accuracy, creative accounting, numbers, math, error, excel, spreadsheet, education

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cheating, referral, employment, reward, award, bonus, proof, guest artist, jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.

Alice Gives Approval

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deal, support, negotiations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.

Wally Gives Approval

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, signature, ignorance, reading, fine print

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on this. Wally: Do I have to read it? Dilbert: No. Wally: That's the sort of idea I can get behind.

Tina Gives Buy In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Gives Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiation, money, price, cost, value

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.

World's Saddest Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
World's Saddest Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch-22, deadline, lose-lose, choosing

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Can you get that analysis to me by Tuesday? Alice: Yes, if I do it poorly. Alternately, I can do it well and miss your deadline by a week. Man: That gives me no path to success. Alice: Welcome to the world's saddest club.