Good Ones Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for good ones comic strips. Discover the best "Good Ones" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock analyst, #good things, #company, #weasels, #business

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Dogbert: your stock will rise if a stock analyst says good things about your company. The Boss: how is that even possible? Dogbert: one word: weasels. weasels: I just found my new pick and shovel core holding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #83% spat, #customer satisfaction survey, #the lucky ones, #died of dehydration, #results of survey

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A female employee says to The Boss and Wally, "The results of our customer satisfaction survey are in." The female employee says, "83% spat at their telephones until they died of dehydration." Asok the Intern, The Boss and Wally listen as the female employee continues, "We're calling that group 'The Lucky Ones'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cockeyed, #creepy guy, #fail, #good work, #hired creep, #products features, #cape, #cane

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The Boss: I hired a creep to help determine our products features. Creep: You need more features. The Boss: Good work. The boss;:When can you have that done? Dilbert: GAAA!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadlines, #finish on time, #forty hours, #good news, #bad news, #boss, #Dilbert

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Dilbert sits at his computer as The Boss says, "Good news: The deadline got pushed back a week." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Good news?! I've been working for forty hours straight to finish on time!" The Boss thinks, "I just realized I don't know the difference between good news and bad news."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good news, #bad news, #power utility, #company, #new vp opeartaions, #offcie, #wheel attached, #generator, #business

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I have good news and bad news." Dogbert says to a happy Ratbert, "The good news is I'm starting up a power utility company and you're my new VP of Operations!" Dogbert says to a chagrined Ratbert, "The bad news is that your office is inside a wheel attached to a generator."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magazine, #key to success, #optimistic, #fail, #point succeeding, #feels good

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The boss says to Dilbert, "The key to success is to remain optimistic even when you fail." Dilbert says, "What's the point of succeeding if failing feels good too?" The boss says, "I'll read another page of the magazine article tomorrow and get back to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good job, #meeting woman, #late, #sixty hour week, #stock options decline, #not impressed

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A woman asks Dilbert, "Do you have a good job?" Dilbert says, "It depends on what you mean by good." Dilbert continues, "If you consider the decline of my stock options, I work sixty hours a week for nothing." The woman says, "Hey, look at the time." Dilbert says, "My boss thinks I work eighty hours. Hee hee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leave work, #boss harrassment, #work is done, #make more, #exercise in fulity, #exercise is good

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Dilbert is walking out of the office with his briefcase and his jacket on. The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Leaving at seven?" Dilbert turns and replies, "All of my work is done." The Boss replies, "Then get some more work." Dilbert says, "That would make my life an exercise in futility." The Boss replies, "Exercise is good for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time to market, #benchmark, #two hours, #stole hours, #good mother year

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Wally and Alice sit on either side of the Boss. Alice looks crazed and her eyes begin to twitch. The Boss says, "...And incrementally develop time-to-market benchmark framework..." Suddenly, Alice throws her arms up and screams out, "This meeting stole two hours of my life!!!" The Boss looks at her, then asks, "Did that help?" Alice, looking exhausted, replies, "Yeah, I'm good for another hour."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing by exception, #do good job, #project important, #name

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The Boss comes into Wally's cubicle and says, "From now on I'll be managing by exception." The Boss continues, "If I don't talk to you for months, assume you're doing a good job." The Boss continues talking, saying "...Or that you're project isn't important...Or that I don't remember your name."