Honest Vendor Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

170 Results for Honest Vendor

View 121 - 130 results for honest vendor comic strips. Discover the best "Honest Vendor" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2004's comic on:


Tags #ethics hotline, #naughty thoughts, #work hours, #lost productivity, #reimburse comapny, #fortune, #too honest, #self imposing

View Transcript

Transcript

Ethics hotline This is dogcart. Please state your conundrum. Asok: sometimes I have naughty thoughts during work hours should I reimburse the company for lost productivity? Asok: Dang! Thi is costing me a fortune!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #change contract, #signed months ago, #hurt to ask, #discount, #clueless, #primary vendors, #acts of god, #poltergeists, #steal best

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss hands Alice a piece of paper. The boss says, "Alice make a few changes to this contract." Alice says, "Changes? This contract was signed months ago." The boss says, "It doesn't hurt to ask." Alice says, "You want me to ask for a sixty percent discount?" The boss says, "No one said it would be easy." Alice says, "You're asking me to be a clueless jerk in front of our primary vendor." Alice says, "Please don't ask me to do this." The boss says, "And ask if they'll change the part about "acts of God" to include poltergeists." The boss walks away and thinks, "That's why our vendors never try to steal our best employees."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #punch back, #stress hump, #karate chop

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Guy "Hey, new guy, that's quite a stress hump you have there maybe I can fix it." "Punch Yaaa!!" "Wow!! It's gone! Does that always work?" "I dunno. To be honest, I just wanted to punch it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2006's comic on:


Tags #drunken lemur, #written by, #project plan, #other drunken lemurs, #lemur analogies

View Transcript

Transcript

I need your honest opinion about my project plan. Don't hold back. "Your plan looks like it was written by a drunken lemur as a practical joke on other drunken lemurs." "Today I learned that people don't like drunken lemur analogies."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Patty the Amplifier and Distorter "We got a proposal from a new vendor today." "DILBERT LOVES THE NEW VENDOR HE THINKS THAT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES IS AN IDIOT!" "That's not what..." "HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE SALES REP!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Satan's Vendor "You'll have many benefits after our technology is irrevocably implemented in your network." "For example, when one of our products stops working, we'll blame another vendor within 24 hours." "Do you have free t-shirts?" "Yes. They're made of the finest allergens."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Satan's Vendor "We'll send your engineers to our free training course." "The training is held on our own island retreat." "I'm going where?" "Fecalruba."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Satan's Vendor "Ha ha ha! Now that you've implemented our product, you are at our mercy." "We shall raise the price of upgrades and delay promised patches. There is nothing you can do about it. Nothing!" "Wow. You're fast with those scissors." "I scrap."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Exit Interview "And what is your reason for leaving?" "To be honest, I was spending way too much time thinking about creative ways to kill you." "Have you cleared out your desk?" "Why don't you go check."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I worked on my own time to invent a room-temperature superconductor that could eliminate our need for oil. "You were supposed to be finding a new vendor for toner cartridges. What happened to that?" "Must...not use...telekinesis..." "Why does my necktie seem so...ERK!!!"