Important Elements Comic Strips - Page 13
184 Results for Important Elements
View 121 - 130 results for important elements comic strips. Discover the best "Important Elements" comics from Dilbert.com.
The Boss: Our vendor sent us a consultant to help configure the software. We can tell how important we are by looking at the consultant they assigned to us. RatBert: The word that comes to mind is doohickey."
The Boss: I hired a consultant to help with our virtualization project because I don't trust employees with anything important. Dogbert: I will do the heavy thinking while each of you performs your usual duties as obstacles to progress. Dilbert: You said this is my project! Dogbert: I'll let him unplug something.
"I acquired the musky scent of failure. Do you have anything that can get rid of it?" "Try being successful at something important." "I work in a fabric-covered box." "Okay, then try rubbing this behind both ears."
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on time management and evolution." Dogbert says, "The key to good time management is skipping un-important tasks." Dogbert says, "In module two, I will show you that everything you do is unimportant because your genes are a dead end."
Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."
Coworker says, "Wally, would you??" Wally says, "No. I'm doing something important for the brand integration manager." Coworker says, "Maybe after that you could?" Wally says, "Then I'm doing a rush job for the director of sustainability." Coworker says, "Are those even real people?" Wally says, "Welcome to Matrix management, Neo."
Dilbert says, "Sorry, I didn't have time to get the information you asked for." Woman says, "You're saying that for an entire week, every single thing you did was more important than my ten-minute request?" Dilbert says, "Yes, but the way I said it doesn't make me think of a broomstick."
Asok says, "Am I interrupting anything important?" Asok says, "Oh no. I have seen this before. You are preparing to put your body language at odds with your words!" The Boss says, "I always have time for my least important employee." Asok says, "My endocrine system is shutting down!"
Wally says, "I've decided to dabble in crime. I nees some henchmen. Are you in?" Asok says, "What does a henchman do?" Wally says, "A henchman's job is to be gunned down in reverse order to his importance." Asok says, "How important am I?" Wally says, "I wouldn't pack lunch for orientation day."
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Floyd, I'm giving you a c-level title." Dogbert says, "You'll be the chief janitorial officer, in charge of all dirt, germs, dead critters and problematic excretions." Man says, "Is it because I'm so important?" Dogbert says, "What answer would make you clean up poop faster?"