Impulse Control Comic Strips - Page 13
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162 Results for Impulse Control
View 121 - 130 results for impulse control comic strips. Discover the best "Impulse Control" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 13,
2013
Tags #boss, #inventions, #joking, #remote control, #shocked, #stick collar, #wearable computing, #necklace computer
Transcript
Wally: Wearable computing is the next big thing. This is my prototype of a necklace computer. Prepare to be shocked. Dilbert: Did you just talk him into wearing a remotely controlled shock collar? Wally: People think I have no goals. click.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday July 22,
2013
Tags #inventions, #money, #digital currency, #bertcoin, #kiss my wagger
Transcript
Dogbert: I invented a digital currency that I call "bitcoin." Soon I will control all of the money in the entire world. Bushahaha! Dilbert: Maybe you should hide your identity. Dogbert: Maybe you should kiss my wagger.
Saturday July 27,
2013
Tags #business ethics, #coffee & tea, #managers & supervisors, #brain scan, #management potential, #warm brown liquid, #speed evolved, #coffee reservoir, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Your brain scan shows tremendous management potential. The part of your brain that would normally control ethics is filled with some sort of warm, brown liquid. It appears that you speed-evolved part of your brain into a coffee reservoir. Wally: People think I don't have a plan.
Wednesday December 25,
2013
Tags #christmas, #christmas presents, #physics, #quantum mechanics, #interpretation, #cat in box, #airholes, #holiday
Transcript
Dogbert: Merry Christmas! This gift is based on the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. There's a cat in here that's neither dead nor alive. Dilbert: Where are the airholes? Dogbert: I have control issues.
Saturday January 04,
2014
Tags #anger, #dieting & weight control, #muffins
Transcript
Alice: I brought you some muffins so I won't need to watch my weight. If I fatten up the people around me, I'll look good even if I gain a few pounds. Dilbert: Won't that make you look mean? Alice: In phase two, I'll also make you angrier than me.
Tuesday February 04,
2014
Tags #dieting & weight control, #stress, #overeating, #willpower, #downside, #20 year reduction, #life expectency
Transcript
Dilbert: I took your advice to start overeating so I could save all of my willpower for work. The only downside is a twenty-year reduction in my life expectancy. Boss: Are you okay with that? Dilbert: Who would want twenty extra years of my life?
Friday September 26,
2014
Tags #anxiety, #bad advice, #projects, #work load, #freaking out, #tackle, #unpleasant tasks first, #wrong order
Transcript
Dilbert: I have too many projects. I'm freaking out. Boss: Experts say you should tackle the most unpleasant tasks first, so you have a feeling of accomplishment and control. Dilbert: Now I have too many projects and some extra anxiety that I'm doing them in the wrong order. Boss: Off you go.
Wednesday August 19,
2015
Software Killed Ted
Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.
Thursday August 20,
2015
Dilbert Has Free Will
Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence
Transcript
Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?
Thursday September 03,
2015
Uncheck The Do No Harm Box
Tags #murder, #killing, #robot, #control, #master, #slave, #moral, #amoral
Transcript
Boss: Yesterday a robot murdered the CEO of our main competitor. Heh-heh. Dilbert: That could only happen if some idiot unchecked the robot's "Do No Harm" box and doomed humankind to annihilation. Boss: Say what? Robot: Hello, victims.