Search Results for "jar with light bulb"
Share October 18, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."
Share December 05, 2002's comic on:
Carol is sitting in her cubicle with a regular telephone in one hand and a cell phone in the other. She says into the regular phone, "So I told him to stop making noises with his lips." Carol turns and yells into the cell phone, "Get the Scorpion King action figure away from your sister's barbie!!!" Wally and Dilbert are looking over a cubicle wall. Wally says, "Now she's also typing a personal message with her nose!" Dilbert replies, "It's a trifecta!"
Share April 01, 2003's comic on:
The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."
Share April 04, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert carries Peri Noid into a back tunnel way. The Garbageman says, "You can't repair a defective co-worker." The Garbageman leads Dilbert into a room filled with defective co-workers enclosed in glass capsules. The Garbageman says, "The best you can do is trade for a co-worker whose defects you haven't yet discovered." Dilbert points to a man and asks, "What's wrong with this one?" The Garbageman replies, "He parts his hair in the middle; that's just wrong."
Share April 26, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "Our breakthrough came when we distributed the processor load." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. Asok raises his arms and exclaims, "It's about time that you took my advice! Hallelujah! Good for you!" Dilbert says, "If laser pointers were light sabers, you'd be looking for your torso." Asok responds, "Ha ha! You're using my joke! Good one!"
Share June 25, 2003's comic on:
Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk. He points to a bottle and says to The Boss, "A good manager needs to smell like a manager." Dogbert continues, "Your breath should be a fiery concoction that says, "Agree with me or die." Dogbert picks up the bottle and says, "Try 'Dogbert's Management Breath Enhancer.' made from ground-up cigarettes, farm shovels, and coffee."
Share August 28, 2003's comic on:
Man: I have a PHD, so obviously you should do what I say. Instead of negotiating with vendors, lets just tell them how much money we have and ask them yo do the right thing. You're probably feeling embarrassed for not thinking of the idea yourself. Alice: Must...not...shave...PHD.
Share October 18, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert: "My tunnel-digging prototype escape the lab and burrowed into a picknicker in Perth, Australia." "The combined entity is a cyborg that has proven to be surprisingly popular at parties." "Ha ha! Do the trick with the dirt!"
Share October 24, 2003's comic on:
WHos Todays Guest Cartoonist? ...when I first heard Dilbert had died while running with scissors,I , too was stunned.I too, asked "whats it all mean?" That 2, 247 newspaper slots are now wiiiiide open , baby! ...ka-ching! ka-Ching! ...sorry about the ka -things. *answer: go to Dilbert.com
Share October 31, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert: "Hey, Rick. Allow me to explain why your specifications are mutually exclusive." Rick: "Must transform." Dilbert: "If we make the package ultra light, there won't be enough material to absorb impact when..." "I don't think I'm getting through."