Key Boards Replaced Comic Strips - Page 13

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137 Results for Key Boards Replaced

View 121 - 130 results for key boards replaced comic strips. Discover the best "Key Boards Replaced" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #time management, #touch, #touching, #touching paper, #turn off phone, #ignore email, #one touch, #salad tongs, #on etouch, #interupted

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Boss: The key to good time management is touching each piece of paper once. If I can only touch it once, I'd better do it right. I'll need to make sure I don't get interrupted after the first touch.Turn off my phone, close my door, and ignore email. Okay, here goes one touch. Ugh. This will take an hour and I only have ten minutes. Make a copy, throw away the original, and don't let me touch the copy until I have an hour in my schedule. I wonder if I'm allowed to use salad tongs.

Ceo Is On Nine Boards

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Ceo Is On Nine Boards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board, #board member, #power, #bragging, #focus, #attention

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CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.

Trust Yourself

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Trust Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #logic, #obliviousness, #Advice, #executives, #motivational speaking

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CEO: The key to success is trusting yourself. Alice: Even when you're wrong? CEO: I'm starting to think motivation isn't a thing.

The World Always Needs Bankers

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The World Always Needs Bankers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banking, #big business, #college, #crime, #debt, #future, #hope, #job, #money, #robot, #robots, #stealing, #business, #education

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Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.

Boss Hoards Gold

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Boss Hoards Gold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gold, #hiding, #secrets, #foolish

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Boss: I'm smart because I'm hoarding gold just in case the world economy collapses. Dilbert: How many people have you told? Dilbert: Where is this heading? Dilbert: Do you still keep a spare key under your welcome mat?

Wally's Email Makes No Sense

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Wally's Email Makes No Sense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bot, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic, #obliviousness

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Boss: Wally's emails make no sense. Dilbert: He replaced himself with a chatbot. He designed the chatbot to be useless so you'd think it was him. Boss: And he thought this would fool me? Dilbert: He's been gone for four months.

Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish

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Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chair, #conversation, #meeting, #robot, #sue, #table, #business

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Boss: We replaced our company lawyer with a robot. Boss: It already rewrote all of our contracts into gibberish. Dilbert: Do we want that? Boss: I tried to ask, but it threatened to sue me.

Robot Reincarnates

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Robot Reincarnates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #robot, #technology, #memory, #ethics

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Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.

Immersive Vr Is Immortal

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Immersive Vr Is Immortal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virtual reality, #vr, #mortality, #immortal, #human, #ai, #artificial intelligence

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Narrator: Kevin, the immersive VR employee. Dilbert: I have to keep reminding myself that you don't really exist. Kevin: I have to keep reminding myself that your organic personality was long ago replaced with prescription medications. Dilbert: At least I'm real! Kevin: At least I'm immortal. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

Wally's Legacy System Report

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Wally's Legacy System Report - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legacy, #laziness, #deception

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Wally: Would you like me to tell you what I accomplished this week with our legacy system? Boss: No, because legacy systems are boring and I like to think about new things. Dilbert: I thought we replaced all of our legacy systems. Wally: Keep your thoughts to yourself.