Knowledge Attained Comic Strips - Page 13
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130 Results for Knowledge Attained
View 121 - 130 results for knowledge attained comic strips. Discover the best "Knowledge Attained" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 18,
2014
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #sleeping & waking up, #five hours of sleep, #sleep deprivation, #lowers intelligence, #1000% raise
Transcript
Boss: I'm training myself to get by on five hours of sleep per night. Carol: Studies show that sleep deprivation lowers your functional intelligence. Boss: Not it not be doesn't. Carol? Can I have a thousand percent raise?
Saturday March 01,
2014
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #obstinacy, #studies show, #offering customers, #problem, #prevent success, #many otions, #hinderance
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show that offering customers too many options can prevent them from buying. Boss: Studies?? That doesn't sound like a real thing. Dilbert: I don't know what to do now. Boss: Maybe that's the problem.
Tuesday March 18,
2014
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #idiots, #agree, #talking to idiots
Transcript
Alice: I was just talking to some idiots. They agree with you on every topic. Boss: What is your point? Alice: That's exactly what they would say!
Tuesday July 22,
2014
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #magic, #thinking, #incomplete data, #intuition and epxerince, #make decision, #magical thinking, #fixes ignorance
Transcript
Boss: We have incomplete data, so I'll need to use my intuition and experience to make the decision. Dilbert: Because magical thinking fixes ignorance? Boss: Hush! I think I have something. Dilbert: I think so, too.
Friday October 24,
2014
Tags #business school, #context, #lists, #ranking, #rankings, #list, #votes, #schools
Transcript
Boss: The new business school rankings are out. Dilbert: Is that the list that is based on the votes of people who have no direct knowledge of those schools? Boss: You ruin everything. Dilbert: Context is not your friend.
Monday December 15,
2014
Financial Advisor Keeps Him Waiting
Tags #finances, #financial advisor, #investing, #knowledge, #money, #personal finance
Transcript
Financial Advisor. Dilbert: You kept me waiting in the lobby for five minutes. So I used that time to learn everything that matters in the field of personal investing. Did you know that you don't know much? Financial Advisor: I did not know that.
Saturday January 24,
2015
The One Out Of Ten Guy
Tags #bad logic, #knowledge, #logic, #statistics, #studies, #problem, #department
Transcript
Coworker: You know how studies always say one out of ten people have a particular problem. I'm always that guy. Statistically speaking, I keep nine people safe just by existing. Dilbert: That's not how statistics work. Coworker: And... everyone else in the department knows that?
Monday December 07,
2015
Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues
Tags #technology, #future, #death, #prediction, #health, #reaction, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.
Friday April 15,
2016
Intuitive Not Worthless
Tags #managers, #obliviousness, #jobs, #knowledge, #understanding
Transcript
Boss: I'm not an engineer, so I don't know if you're doing the right things or not. And I can't watch you work, so I don't know if you're putting in any effort. Dilbert: That means you're totally worthless. Boss: I was going to say intuitive.
Sunday June 14,
2020
Need Boss To Make Decision
Tags #argument, #boss, #decision, #engineering, #knowledge, #marketing, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.