Leadership Comic Strips - Page 13
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140 Results for Leadership
View 121 - 130 results for leadership comic strips. Discover the best "Leadership" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 24,
2015
Sense Of Awe
Tags #management, #executives, #leader, #leadership, #overwork, #work ethic, #motivation
Transcript
Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!
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Tuesday July 28,
2015
Hire Smarter People
Tags #leadership, #success, #insult, #power, #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #ego, #humility, #humble
Transcript
CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.
Sunday December 06,
2015
Tags #logic, #reasoning, #managing, #managers, #leadership, #quality, #absurd
Transcript
Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.
Monday February 01,
2016
Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok
Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #frustration, #manager, #leader, #fbi
Transcript
Man: We've been tracking an accused terrorist named Asok. We believe he was radicalized here. Woman: What did you do to him? Boss: Leadership? Man: Yup. That's the top cause.
Tuesday February 02,
2016
Something About Asok Was Wrong
Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #leadership, #managers, #frustration, #humor
Transcript
Boss: Where's Asok? Dilbert: The FBI took him on suspicion of being a terrorist. Boss: Now that you mention it, something about him was wrong. Dilbert: Was it his boss? Boss: Was that a joke? Dilbert: I'm not sure. I don't have a sense of humor, either.
Sunday May 15,
2016
Tags #expectations, #unrealistic, #project, #group, #laziness, #prediction
Transcript
Boss: When do you expect to finish your project? Dilbert: Never. Boss: That's your plan? Dilbert: No, my plan is to be done in a week. You asked me what I expect. I base my expectations on the quality of people you assigned to my project without asking my opinion. The time-wasters outnumber the productive people on the team by three to one. Under that scenario, plus your total lack of leadership, the world will end before this project does. Boss: Then why is your plan to be done in a week? Dilbert: Because you don't like it when I tell the truth. Boss: Let's compromise on two weeks. Dilbert: Can we set those two weeks on auto-renew?
Thursday May 19,
2016
Wally The Thought Leader
Tags #title, #leadership, #work ethic, #laziness, #strategy, #ruse
Transcript
Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.
Thursday September 08,
2016
Get Multiple Approvals
Tags #managers, #problems, #work, #frustration
Transcript
Boss: You need to get your capital budget approved by all of the department heads. We're in the middle of a reorg, so get approval from both the outgoing and the incoming managers. Dilbert: Someday I hope to solve a problem that is not caused by leadership. Boss: You'll never get that far.
Thursday November 17,
2016
Followship Training
Tags #leadership, #following, #lazy, #work ethic, #motivation
Transcript
Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.
Sunday January 15,
2017
Tags #job, #scope, #negotiating, #engineer, #demands, #failure, #stress, #business, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.